Porn can become a consuming habit, even an addiction in some more extreme cases. Besides taking up a consumer’s time, regularly repeated behavior like watching porn can also rewire the brain and may even be related to shrinking the amount of gray matter in the brain associated with motivation. That’s not something you read on a porn site’s warning page, right?
While more research is needed to better understand the relationship between porn and the effects on the brain, there is strong anecdotal evidence from countless consumers who agree that porn zaps their energy and motivation.
Essentially, many consumers report that their porn habit makes them feel lazy.
In such a busy world, there’s something good to be said for moving at your own pace and taking things slowly—sometimes interpreted as laziness—instead of feeling the pressure to rush about looking busy. There’s something to be said for that, but this isn’t the feeling we’re talking about.
Porn consumers can often express frustration with their lack of energy and motivation. It leaves a person feeling like they are missing out on the good parts of life while they are hooked to on-screen fantasy for longer and longer.
Porn: the energy and motivation killer
A study analyzing the comments of adolescent boys regularly consuming porn found many describing their habit as an addiction leading to withdrawal-like symptoms. Take a look at a few of their comments:
“I feel drained and empty of energy. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel tainted and weak.”
“Today I learned that there is much more to withdraw than just urges. I learned that it is normal to feel depressed, tired, unmotivated, and just overall lazy.
“I am a 17-year-old struggling with this disgusting habit that always leaves me feeling extremely guilty. It seriously is messing me up, messing my motivation and drive.”
Clearly, porn and feeling motivated just don’t mix. These boys described a lack of energy to do basic things in their day, like getting up for school in the morning and not procrastinating on assignments.
But how does this work? Anything could be a distraction from doing homework, so what makes porn different? It’s just a part of growing up and learning about sex, right?
Not exactly.
As if the name didn’t give it away, the “reward center’s” job is to reward you for doing healthy things like eating tasty food or exercising. “Pleasure” chemicals are released in the brain giving a feeling of a high and making you want to repeat the behavior. This is where motivation comes from.
In the brain, porn can act like other addictive drugs or behaviors. It fools the reward center so the brain releases a dose of dopamine-making the consumer feel pretty good about what they are doing. In healthy activities, the brain knows when a craving is satisfied and shuts off those feel-good chemicals, but with porn, the river keeps flowing.
What this looks like is porn consumer continuing to watch for elongated periods of time to keep up that “high” feeling. Their motivation to do anything is gone because when they do stop, they hit a slump.
The brain uses up a lot of energy normally, but after an overhaul like repeated porn binging, no wonder those boys talked about how lazy they felt.
Feeling too lazy for a relationship?
It’s no secret that porn is bad news for romantic relationships, despite what some magazines like to sell to readers. Research shows how porn can distort a person’s perceptions of sex, intimacy, body image, and harm their sexual performance.
Porn also affects a person’s self-esteem. One study found that guys who consume porn are much more likely to have anxiety in relationships and withdraw from them more than guys who aren’t consuming porn. Their sense of emotional security was lower overall than guys who stayed away from XXX habits.
Being in a real relationship is way better and healthier than any porn video, so this is a concern.
After watching so much porn, a person may feel like a real relationship is too difficult or even unattainable, and resort to the lazy option of sticking with porn. And thus, the cycle continues.
No doubt, it is easier. There’s no risk of rejection or ongoing maintenance to keep a relationship alive because porn is all about keeping the consumer happy. Porn will never ask anything of the consumer other than their time and money, and porn will never challenge a consumer to be a more quality person or work toward meaningful goals. But love can, and does.
You deserve better than fake intimacy on a screen
Real love has way more to offer than porn ever can. Contrary to what porn does to consumers, love has the benefit of energizing partners and giving them a creative spark, according to research. And what’s more, real love and relationships add value and positivity to society, as well as someone’s life in general. Porn can’t get close to achieving those same things.
Of course, we aren’t trying to say that you are a lazy or “bad” person if you aren’t in a relationship. Rather, we exist to point out that porn is an unhealthy problem more than it’s a helpful solution to anyone.
Consider from the study above, what one teenage boy had to say about it:
“Since having streaks of [staying away from porn], I definitely felt, at times, more motivated to seek a relationship, get a girlfriend and experience intimacy.”
Lack of energy, motivation, and a desire to find real love can come from porn. It is what holds a person back from living a full life. No one deserves that—they deserve to feel like they can conquer the world and feel like they can find someone to spend time with, no matter what life throws at them.
If you’re reading this, you deserve better than what porn has to offer. And that’s a fact.
