Before You Set Out to Change the Conversation on Porn’s Harms, Can You Answer These Basic Questions?

By November 1, 2018 No Comments

Congratulations, you’re a world-changer!

If you’re not familiar with us, Fight the New Drug is a growing community of people who are rejecting the cultural narrative that porn is healthy, cool, and totally normal. We are way more than a tee shirt company—we’re a global movement and a lifestyle.

But we do have awesome Fighters who represent in their super bold Porn Kills Love tees and other Fighter gear, and we are stoked to see the movement ripple across the whole world!

One thing can’t be denied about Fighter gear—they are quite the conversation starters. Some people’s reactions are positive, some negative, and some just genuinely want to know more. If you have gear from the FTND store, you know the feeling: you’re walking in a public place and everyone’s eyes seem to be darting at your shirt and you know it is only a matter of time before someone asks you what the bold statement on your shirt means.

Basically, the point of these shirts is more than just looking awesome, it’s being able to start conversations about porn and getting this message out into the open. We created these bold tees with THAT purpose in mind. We wanted these tees to grab attention and encourage people to talk about something that isn’t always a popular topic of conversation and is usually shrouded in shame and secrecy. And while we like to think we do a good job at getting the facts about the harms of porn out into the world, we realize some Fighters might be having trouble putting into words exactly what the shirt means and how to address the issue themselves.

Don’t worry, Fighters. We got your back. Before you go out with spreading the conversation in mind, it’s key you’ll be able to at least cover the basics and answer some questions. After all, knowledge is empowerment, right?

Educate, empower, equip, repeat

Here are some easy-to-remember answers that you can whip out whenever asked about your attention-grabbing ‘Porn Kills Love’ tee or more subtle yet stylish ‘Papa Kilo Lima’ tee, or the edgy but thought-provoking all-new ‘Consider Before Consuming’ tee. Because let’s be honest, the last thing you want is to kill curiosity by mumbling, “Uh, ya know, it’s bad, like, um, drugs…”


When in doubt, you can always tell them to check out (the website you’re currently on), or to check out the facts behind porn’s harms.

But if you have time for a chat, go for it. Answer those tough questions and remember these pointers:

-Respect and kindness always win and never go out of style. Be a thoughtful good listener. This can often be more persuasive than even the most killer argumentation.

-Face-to-face conversations are the lifeblood of this movement, and what do you have to lose?!

-Practice, practice, practice, and read, read, read. The more you study and talk about these issues, the more confident you’ll become in answering questions.

-Don’t be a jerk. People often are not curious to know more from the “know-it-all” or the shaming person. Be nice, use common sense, take a risk in actually being a kind person.

And as for the basic facts, here’s a reference sheet to help you spread the word and rep the movement with some factual ammo to keep in mind (and click here to see even more Q&A topics) whenever you’re repping or whenever you see an opportunity to spark some conversation about porn and exploitation.

Questions you might be asked while repping gear
Question: How can pornography impact relationships?
Answer A: When a partner consumes porn, it can damage their perception about what healthy intimacy and real love are.

Studies on regular porn consumption show that the more frequently the person consumes porn, the less satisfied they become with a real-life partner. The basic needs of a human being become too much to deal with in comparison to an easy access computer that says, “I need nothing but to please you.” It undermines the give-and-take system of a real relationship because porn is a take-as-much-as-you-want “relationship.” Over time, the porn consumer can use porn to replace real relationships because it gives selfish pleasure and takes much less effort.

Answer B: Porn can change the way the consumer sees their partner.

In a recent survey of 16 to 18-year-old Americans, nearly every participant reported learning how to have sex by watching porn, and many of the young women said they were pressured to play out the “scripts” their male partners had learned from porn. They felt pressured into having sex in uncomfortable positions, faking sexual responses, and consenting to unpleasant or painful acts. That doesn’t sound sexy, does it?At the same time, porn reshapes expectations about sex and attraction by presenting an unrealistic picture. In porn, men and women always look their best. They are forever young, surgically enhanced, airbrushed, and Photoshopped to perfection. So it’s not hard to see why, according to a national poll, six out of seven women believe that porn has changed men’s expectations of how women should look.

Answer C: Porn can curb the consumer’s desire for a committed, healthy relationship founded on respect and love.

Often times you’ll hear claims that the reason people consume porn is because they don’t have a romantic partner who can take care of their physical needs. But research shows that the opposite is true. Regular consumption of porn damages interest in being in a committed relationship and creates a negative attitude towards love and monogamous, committed relationships.

Click here to see sources for these answers.

Question: Can pornography be addictive? Is it like a drug?
Answer: Porn can change and rewire the consumer’s brain, even with casual consumption.

Porn consumption causes the brain to be flooded with dopamine, a pleasure chemical that activates the reward pathway in the brain and reinforces your brain to want to return to that activity. Each time the consumer looks at porn, trails of these chemicals create new patterns in the reward pathways of the brain. The brain is actually being rewired. Over time the consumer adjusts to the intense amounts of dopamine being released, so he/she needs to seek out more extreme content to get the same feeling. Suddenly, the porn consumer is watching and seeking out more hardcore versions of porn than they ever thought they would, and they might find it difficult to stop.

Click here to see sources for this answer. 

Question: Does porn hurt anyone—it’s a personal choice. Why are you telling people what to do?
Answer A: Raising awareness on something isn’t telling anyone what to do, and porn is a total lie.

It’s easy to argue that porn doesn’t hurt anyone if the consumer believes that the people on screen are enjoying themselves. But in too many cases, that’s just not the truth. The satisfaction of the actors, like everything else in porn, is an act. So many ex-porn performers have discussed the horrific ways that they were coerced and abused into filming, and have admitted that most porn performers abuse drugs and alcohol in order to numb themselves to the harsh world of producing porn.

Answer B: Porn supports the demand for sex trafficking.

It’s easy to believe that porn doesn’t hurt anyone if you believe the people being filmed are participating of their own free will and choice. There have been dozens and counting of reported incidents in which women were coerced and threatened into performing sexual acts which were then filmed/photographed and sold as porn, even from mainstream studios. And, a 2004 study showed that men who had consumed porn within the last year were two times more likely to seek out a prostitute. A majority of prostitutes report that their male customers often show them porn in order to demonstrate what they want to do. Porn, prostitution, and sex trafficking are all more connected than the industry would want you to believe.

Answer C: Porn encourages violence while showing that it is pleasurable for those who receive it.

A study analyzing the 50 most popular porn videos showed that over 88% of them contained scenes of violence, and almost every time, the violence was met with expressions of pleasure rather than pain. Porn teaches consumers that violence is normal, and even pleasurable. Porn numbs people to the seriousness of violence, including domestic abuse and rape. And, the number of child on child sexual abuse cases that are being directly tied to porn is rising at a pretty alarming rate. In the UK last year, the number of reported rape and sexual assault cases that were carried out by young children doubled, and those cases were directly linked to porn’s influence on the assailant.

Click here to see sources for these answers.

For more personal stories about people who have struggled with porn so you can get an idea of how to talk about it, click here.

Why this matters

We exist because research and peer-reviewed studies are continually showing how harmful porn is, and consumers deserve to know what they’re consuming before .

Our aim is to raise as much awareness as possible that porn isn’t natural, it isn’t normal, and it definitely isn’t a healthy part of any meaningful relationship. So many people in society, especially in our tech-obsessed generation, believe that porn really is just harmless and pleasurable entertainment, and that it can even be a satisfying substitute for love. In reality, we are learning that it is just the opposite. It is harmful to the consumer, can make relationships even more difficult, and it can make single people even lonelier.

RelatedThe Science Behind The Slogan: How Exactly Does Porn Kill Love?

We’re here to tell you that love in real life is so much better and healthier than what porn has to offer, and we’re taking a stand and not settling for anything less than real. This is a movement for love fueled by science and research, and an understanding that love, healthy relationships, and an exploitation-free society are some of the most important things in this world.

Research is telling us something important about the effects of porn. It’s is not just a simple personal choice with no negative side effects. It harms the brain, hurts relationships, and harms society as a whole. Bottom line:

Get Involved

Spread the word on the scientific harmful effects of pornography. SHARE this article to raise awareness on the facts.

Spark Conversations

This movement is all about changing the conversation about pornography. When you rep a tee, you can spark meaningful conversation on porn’s harms and inspire lasting change in individuals’ lives, and our world. Are you in? Check out all our styles in our online store, or click below to shop:

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