Since the start of this movement 10 years ago, the phrase “Porn Kills Love” has spread across the globe. This bold declaration often catches attention, raises eyebrows, and draws in individuals so they can engage in conversation about the facts surrounding how porn is harmful.
We’ve received plenty of feedback about this signature slogan over the years, and we welcome it and take it into consideration. We truly appreciate Fighters taking the time to take this movement and our resources into consideration—after all, it was through seriously thinking about the topic of porn that this movement was founded in the first place.
One of the most common suggestions we receive is related to swapping out “Porn Kills Love” with “Love Kills Porn.” This question has come up enough that we feel it deserves some explaining as to why we’re sticking with PKL, instead of LKP.
Words are important—especially in this movement where what we’re fighting for, who we are, and who we’re not can easily be misunderstood. And on the flip side, remaining consistent in our message can help us stay focused on our core mission to carry this movement forward, and change the world one conversation at a time.
Here are three main reasons why we’re the “Porn Kills Love” movement.
1. Not everyone understands that porn is harmful.
Love is often one of our Fighters’ biggest motivations to quit porn for good, so we totally understand the sentiment of “Love Kills Porn.” It’s more positive-sounding and has good vibes.
However, we are, first and foremost, an educational resource. Our mission as an awareness organization is to provide individuals the opportunity to make informed decisions regarding porn by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts. And for those individuals who aren’t yet aware of how unhealthy porn can be, the phrase “Love Kills Porn” doesn’t fully capture the harm that porn causes.
The phrase “Love Kills Porn” assumes that people already understand that porn is harmful, when in reality, many truly don’t. It implies that porn is harmful and love should be used as a tool to fight it, but skips the step of establishing how porn is harmful in the first place. See how this could be counterproductive for someone who may not see a problem with porn at all, or is at the starting point of the learning process?
“Porn Kills Love” is an awareness-raising phrase, while “Love Kills Porn” can be confusing for someone who doesn’t yet understand the science and research.
2. Being in a romantic relationship isn’t the only motivation for quitting porn.
The phrase “Love Kills Porn” also gives the impression that in order to have enough reason to quit porn, someone needs to be in a romantic relationship or that this must be their primary motivation.
“Love Kills Porn” can easily isolate individuals who are single, those who may not yet see how porn impacts their relationship or partner, or those who might resonate with another fact why porn is harmful other than it’s impact on romantic relationships.
Someone may rather relate to how porn impacts the brain and can escalate to a compulsive behavior. Sex trafficking and exploitation in the industry are also huge motivators to consider not contributing to the porn industry, and it’s sketchy business practices. Both of these are powerful reasons to quit consuming porn—neither of which are related to romantic love.
Our movement is centered on the fight for real love, but that doesn’t mean that someone needs to be in a relationship—or even desire one—to participate and break free from porn.
3. “Love Kills Porn” puts undue pressure on relationships and romantic partners to solve the issue porn introduces into relationships.
This phrase—even if unintentionally—puts pressure on both romantic and platonic relationships.
“Love Kills Porn” implies significant responsibility on a partner for their partner’s progress, and suggests it’s up to them to help erase or ease their loved one’s desire for porn. However, we know from both research and personal accounts that this isn’t how it works.
Even individuals who have otherwise healthy and exciting romantic relationships can also struggle with porn. Many individuals also expect a desire for porn to go away once they’re in a fulfilling and committed relationship, only to find that this isn’t the case.
No matter how great their relationships might be and how much they experience love in their lives, a struggle with porn can be completely separate and unrelated to their level of relationship satisfaction. A porn struggle is never reflexive of the quality of a relationship.
For many, porn rewires the brain, and a habit of consuming it isn’t a switch that can be flipped on or off as soon as their relationship status changes.
In short, someone’s progress with quitting porn is not reflective of how great their partner is.
Spread the movement with “Porn Kills Love”
Porn is a complex issue, and a struggle is unique to each person, but we know these core facts—it’s harmful to individuals, relationships, and society as a whole.
Porn may impact each individual differently, but what’s important to remember is that it truly affects us all. Whether it be one’s individual health and happiness, their intimate or romantic relationships, or the porn industry’s direct link to sex trafficking and exploitation, each are powerful and valid motivations to stop consuming porn and alert others to its harms.
In this movement that spans the globe and reaches individuals from a variety of backgrounds, cultures, and circumstances, our message has a place for everyone. Join us in spreading this important message that porn kills love.
Help for partners
If your partner is struggling with porn, you are not alone—know that there is hope, and there is help. As you navigate this difficult situation, there are supportive communities and resources available to you. Below is a non-exhaustive list of several resources for those experiencing hurt because of their partner's porn consumption. Note that this isn't a complete resource list.
Disclaimer: For those who may find themselves involved in this sensitive situation, their responses can differ. This is why resources need to fit the specific needs of whoever is seeking them. Some of these resources are gender-specific, others are religiously-affiliated, others use a variety of approaches. Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative awareness and education organization hoping to provide access to resources that are helpful to those who need support. Including this list of recommendations does not constitute an endorsement by Fight the New Drug.