Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.

We recently received this true story from a man who has been devastated by his wife’s porn viewing habits. Some stories, like this one, show how porn can drive a wedge between partners and take the spice right out of the relationship.


FTND,

I was just reading your article about what porn does to a partner and felt like I should share my story. For years, my wife has been very distant and not very intimate with me.

A while ago, in an attempt to spice things up in our relationship, I introduced sex toys to try and get her more interested. After a while, she acted like she didn’t like them so we stopped using them and I locked them away.

One day I noticed things were out of place, and found that these items had been used. I asked my wife about them and she denied knowing anything about it. All I could say was, I hope the kids aren’t getting into them. Keep in mind that my wife has always been very sensitive about nudity on TV. She would always act really offended and be quick to change the channel/movie whenever it popped up. Anyways, as time went on, she was getting less and less intimate with me. But I kept noticing that the toys were still being used and that it was only when I was gone.

Related: Porn Site Reveals Shocking Statistics On Female Porn Habits

Eventually, she’s gotten to the point that she is denying me sex and finds reasons to stay home alone. When I leave, she will immediately run to the bedroom.

Finally, as a last resort, I planted a camera in our bedroom to figure out what was going on. I ended up catching her watching porn a few times a week. It all came to head and no matter what I try, she won’t talk to me about it or work on it with me. All she says is that it was my fault for introducing the sex toys in the first place.

I have felt crushed and devastated ever since I found out. I feel like I can never trust her when she’s home alone. I don’t know what to do anymore.

– M.

Porn affects everyone

Right off the bat, we want to say that, as an organization, we don’t encourage partners to spy or snoop on each other. Also, right off the bat, we’re here to say that porn isn’t just a “guy problem,” it’s an everyone problem.

This story is just one of thousands of emails we get from significant others all across the world, hurt and depressed by their partner’s porn habit. Not only is science proving that pornography harms the individual by harming the braindamaging relationships, and deeply affecting attitudes about sex, but several studies have found that partners of porn consumers suffer as well. These partners often report feeling loss, betrayal, mistrust, devastation, and anger when they learn that the other half of their committed relationship has been using porn. Many show physical symptoms of anxiety and depression.

We hope this story really puts into perspective that porn is not just a guy/boyfriend/husband issue. It’s an everyone issue. The second episode of Fight the New Drug’s brand new, three-part documentary series, “The Heart,” shines a light on porn’s deep effects on relationships. Check out the trailer, here:

With the increased availability of internet porn in the last decade, women are becoming just as active on porn sites as men. A recent German sex study showed what we should all already know: women are just as easily at risk of becoming dependent upon porn as men. The study showed that at least 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and that half of the women surveyed were internet porn consumers.

And get this: a popular porn site recently came out with stats that say that 1 in 4 of the site’s consumers are women. According to their data, women are spending much longer watching porn, staying on the site for an average of almost 11 and a half minutes, while men logged off after just 10 minutes. Also, they’re checking out more hardcore genres of porn.

Related: My Dark Journey As A Female Porn Addict

Bottom line: porn doesn’t care whether you’re a guy or girl, husband or wife.

Like Cherise says in the first episode of our three-part documentary series, Brain, Heart, World, porn can spiral out of control more quickly than the consumer realizes.

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Show support for the brave Fighter who sent this story to us. SHARE this article and help to spread the word that porn isn’t just a problem for men, and it hurts everyone.

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