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Why Ending My Porn Habit Was The Beginning Of Finding Real Love

By March 28, 2018 No Comments

Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.

We recently received a story from a dedicated Fighter who shows how forming intimate, close relationships can be difficult in the midst of having a porn habit.


I discovered pornography at the young age of 10, and was a full-on compulsive consumer by the age of 12.

I was looking at some form of porn and getting aroused to it 4 to 5 times a day. By the time I was 15, I had access to the internet, though it was dial-up, so I had to be very patient. But I still went for it, because I needed my fix.

Because I was shy and insecure, I didn’t date or have intimate relationships with girls, so I had no way of knowing of knowing how pornography was affecting me emotionally, mentally, or socially. I was 18 when I started dating, and I finally had a girl to hang on my arm and sit in my car. But she didn’t fulfill my fantasies like pornography did… She didn’t make me feel as good as pornography did. After two years, she found out, and asked me to stop. I said no. After all, we weren’t married, so why should I?

RelatedFour Ways Watching Porn Can Disconnect You From Reality

I ended up getting bored with her and dumped her after three years. She was devastated, and I was more broken than ever, looking for the next girl I could experience. I had spent my whole childhood rejected and cast aside, looking for love and belonging, yet every girl that wanted to commit to me was like a disease. I wanted to hook up with them and have fun. Pornography warped my mind to only be obsessed with the physical side of relationships, so that I was pushing away the one thing that I desired so deeply—a real connection with someone.

When I started dating my future wife, it was the same cycle, she found out about the porn, asked me to stop and I said I would try. It was all futile because I was hopelessly lost at this point. I dumped her (my future wife) three separate times, she dumped me once, but somehow we ended up getting married. She was committed to me. Seeing that, I was not about to let her go, so I kept my porn problem very quiet.

Related: How The Porn Industry Capitalizes On Loneliness And Depression

Knowing how it affected her, I would try to stop, but I just couldn’t. She began to feel like an object for my pleasure, there was no love from me and I was just sinking into a downward spiral of addiction and depression.

Then, in 2010, I woke up.

I saw what was happening to my wife, and I vowed to fight this addiction. This meant I was completely transparent about when I would look at porn, talk to her about it and work through it with her. I’ve been actively fighting for the past eight years, with some great successes, and failures, but my wife and I have decided to fight this together, knowing we want something deeper than what porn offers. Once I found your organization and saw the mission, it gave me a new purpose and reason to fight.

Since I have become a Fighter with this organization, I have been working to advocate and rally support for trafficking victims and bring awareness to the toxic nature of the porn industry and trafficking industry. It’s given me a renewed passion and purpose and has shown me an even greater purpose for the path that I have taken. I have been publicly sharing my story, and have found others who are struggling. My desire is to show those in the midst of this struggle, they are not alone.

Related: 5 Real Stories Of Porn Performers Who Were Trafficked Into The Industry

I believe and hope that my life would serve as a beacon of hope, which shows others that there is a way out and there are things worth fighting, sometimes tooth and nail, for.

B.

Why This Matters

The porn industry has a pretty clever racket going—they wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar industry if they didn’t know how to get clients and keep them coming back for more.

Once young kids are taught that the value of a person is in their sex appeal, it’s easy for the porn industry to take that natural curiosity for sex and twist it for their own gains and profits. They can strategically search out ways to show adolescents the shocking world of unfiltered sex, much before they can really understand what “sex” actually is.

Related: Why It’s Important Not To Judge Someone By Their Porn Struggle Alone

The scary thing is that not all of these soon-to-be-clients initially seek out the porn industry for themselves. In fact, many of them don’t. Many porn websites use an aggressive “marketing” strategy to bring in these young consumers, often young boys.

This generation deserves to understand exactly how porn can harm intimate relationships, how it damages the mind, and how it corrupts our world. We are all about decreasing the demand for porn through education. We believe that people have a right to know the damages that can result from consuming pornography. When given the facts, we believe that people will choose not to make it a part of their life. There is hope for everyone to have healthy, fulfilling relationships apart from porn.

Get Involved

Show your support for this Fighter and his story. SHARE this post and get the word out that porn is anything but harmless, healthy personal entertainment.

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