“Since him, I have found it so easy to put away the porn. I am in my first relationship where I have been able to say ‘I love you’ without secrets.”

“Toward the end of the relationship, when his obsession with porn seemed to be at an all-time high, he got more controlling and sexually assaulted me.”

“Having a compulsive porn habit, I used drugs to get an increased high whilst viewing hardcore porn and my tastes changed over time…which led me to my arrest.”

How and why did she get there? And what does this show us about the lie the porn industry sells about its performers living an eternally sexy lifestyle?

As an organization, we have never intended the phrase “Porn Kills Love” to be shaming. Helping people recognize that porn is harmful isn’t about shaming them, it’s about inviting them to truly consider how porn impacts their life.

“We had been dating for a year when I asked him, out of the blue, if he had a pornography problem. His answer started a journey I never could have expected.”

“I became so involved and obsessed with this business that it was taking over every part of my life. I discovered that I was developing the ‘fetish.'”

“I was threatened by agents that attempted to rape me. I was taken advantage of from men offering me scenes after I had sex with them—only to never get the contract.”

“I became hooked to porn as time progressed and the access became more easy. But a strange trend followed me as well: depression.”

“Things about porn that used to excite me and turn me on, do nothing but disgust me now. I finally feel clean from watching all that stuff for a decade.”

Watch these passionate advocates actually have a civil, productive conversation about porn and take notes the next time you’re talking about porn’s harms with someone.

No one deserves to feel like they aren’t worth loving. Whether you and your partner decide to fight for the relationship, or go your separate ways, there are resources to help both you and your partner.