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Your Answer Guide to “What Does Porn Kills Love Mean?” and Other Fighter Gear Questions

Here are some easy-to-remember answers for whenever you're asked about your 'Porn Kills Love' tee, so you can rep the movement confidently.

Your Answer Guide to "What Does Porn Kills Love Mean?" and Other Fighter Gear Questions

Related: 3 Reasons Why We Say “Porn Kills Love” Instead of “Love Kills Porn”

6-minute read.

Fight the New Drug is a growing community of people who are rejecting the cultural narrative that porn is healthy and elevating the value of real love in relationships.

We are more than an organization with cool tee shirts—we’re a global movement.

But we do have awesome Fighters who represent this cause in their bold “Porn Kills Love” tees, and we are stoked to see the movement ripple across the whole world!

Your Answer Guide to "What Does Porn Kills Love Mean?" and Other Fighter Gear Questions

One thing can’t be denied about Fighter Gear—almost everything in our online store is quite the conversation starter. Some people’s reactions are positive, some negative, and some just genuinely want to know more.

If you have gear from the FTND store, you know the feeling: you’re walking in a public place, and everyone’s eyes seem to be darting at your shirt, and you know it is only a matter of time before someone asks you what the bold statement on your shirt means.

The point of these shirts is more than just funding our awareness campaign. It’s being able to start conversations about porn and getting this message out into the open. We create our gear with THAT purpose in mind. We wanted these tees to grab attention and encourage people to talk about something that isn’t always a popular topic of conversation and is usually shrouded in shame and secrecy.

Related: 3 Reasons Why We Say “Porn Kills Love” Instead of “Love Kills Porn”

And while we like to think we do a good job at getting the facts about the harms of porn out into the world, we realize some Fighters might be having trouble putting into words exactly what the shirt means and how to address the issue themselves.

Don’t worry, Fighters. We got your back. Before you go out and spread the conversation in mind, you’ll be able to cover the basics and answer some questions. After all, knowledge is empowerment, right?

Whenever someone asks about your attention-grabbing Fighter Gear, remember these easy-to-recall answers.

When in doubt, you can always tell them to check out FTND.org (the website you’re currently on) or FTND.org/getthefacts to check out the facts behind porn’s harms and watch our three-part documentary for free.

Related: Why the Goal of the Phrase “Porn Kills Love” Isn’t to Shame Anyone

But if you have time for a chat, go for it. Answer those tough questions and remember these pointers:

-Respect and kindness always win and never go out of style. Be a thoughtful, good listener. This can often be more persuasive than even the strongest argument.

-Face-to-face conversations are the foundation of this movement, and what do you have to lose?!

Practice, practice, practice, and read, read, read. The more you study and talk about these issues, the more confident you’ll become in answering questions.

Don’t be a jerk. People often are not curious to know more from the “know-it-all” or the shaming person. Be nice, use common sense, and take a risk in actually being a kind person.

Click here for a comprehensive guide to having a meaningful conversation about porn with anyone.

Conversation Blueprint

Questions you might be asked while repping Fighter gear

As for the basic facts, here’s a reference sheet to help you spread the word and rep the movement with some factual ammo to keep in mind (and click here to see even more Q&A topics) whenever you’re repping or whenever you see an opportunity to spark some conversation about porn and exploitation.

Question: How can pornography impact relationships?

Answer A: Countless studies consistently show that porn consumers tend to struggle in their relationships. From poorer relationship quality to an increased likelihood of cheating, research suggests that porn plays a major role in fueling unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Dozens of studies have repeatedly shown that porn consumers tend to have lower relationship satisfaction and lower relationship quality.Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., Kraus, A., & Klann, E. (2017). Pornography consumption and satisfaction: A meta-analysis. Human Communication Research, 43(3), 315-343. doi:https://doi.org/10.1111/hcre.12108Copy Perry S. L. (2020). Pornography and Relationship Quality: Establishing the Dominant Pattern by Examining Pornography Use and 31 Measures of Relationship Quality in 30 National Surveys. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(4), 1199–1213. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-01616-7Copy Perry, S. (2017). Does Viewing Pornography Reduce Marital Quality Over Time? Evidence From Longitudinal Data. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 46(2), 549-559. Doi: 10.1007/S10508-016-0770-YCopy  Porn consumers tend to experience more negative communication with their partners, feel less dedicated to their relationships, have a more difficult time making adjustments in their relationships, are less sexually satisfied, and commit more infidelity.Maddox, A. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Viewing sexually-explicit materials alone or together: associations with relationship quality. Archives of sexual behavior, 40(2), 441–448. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-009-9585-4Copy  Research also shows that porn consumers tend to become less committed to their partners,Minarcik, J., Wetterneck, C. T., & Short, M. B. (2016). The Effects Of Sexually Explicit Material Use On Romantic Relationship Dynamics. Journal Of Behavioral Addictions, 5(4) 700-707. Doi: 10.1556/2006.5.2016.078Copy Lambert, N. M., Negash, S., Stillman, T. F., Olmstead, S. B., & Fincham, F. D. (2012). A love that doesn't last: Pornography consumption and weakened commitment to one's romantic partner. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 31(4), 410-438. doi:10.1521/jscp.2012.31.4.410Copy  less satisfied in their relationships,Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., Kraus, A., & Klann, E. (2017). Pornography consumption and satisfaction: A meta-analysis. Human Communication Research, 43(3), 315-343. doi:https://doi.org/10.1111/hcre.12108Copy  and more accepting of cheating.Rasmussen, K. (2016). A Historical and Empirical Review of Pornography and Romantic Relationships: Implications for Family Researchers. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 8(2), 173-191. doi:https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12141Copy 

Answer B: Research indicates that consuming porn can normalize sexual objectification, which can have profound consequences in the ways porn consumers view and treat others.

Research consistently shows that porn can play a big role in teaching viewers to consume people as products for their sexual satisfaction, which can ultimately have unhealthy consequences for individuals, relationships, and the cultures in which we live.Skorska, M.N., Hodson, G., & Hoffarth, M.R. (2018). Experimental effects of degrading versus erotic pornography exposure in men on reactions toward women (objectification, sexism, discrimination). The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 27, 261 - 276.Copy Seabrook, R. C., Ward, L. M., & Giaccardi, S. (2019). Less than human? Media use, objectification of women, and men’s acceptance of sexual aggression. Psychology of Violence, 9(5), 536-545. doi:10.1037/vio0000198Copy 

Porn is not an accurate representation of how everyday people look or how sex and intimacy work in real-life relationships, yet the research shows that porn can, and does, shape the way that consumers think about others and sex.

Answer C: Ironically, despite porn’s promise of improving consumers’ sex lives, there is growing evidence that porn consumption is linked to sexual dysfunction and less sexual satisfaction.

Ironically, despite porn’s promise of improving consumers’ sex lives, there is growing evidence that porn consumption is linked to sexual dysfunction. Research indicates that compulsive pornography consumption is directly related to erectile dysfunction Park, B. Y., Wilson, G., Berger, J., Christman, M., Reina, B., Bishop, F., Klam, W. P., & Doan, A. P. (2016). Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 6(3), 17. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs6030017Copy  sexual dysfunction for both men and women,Bőthe, B., Tóth-Király, I., Griffiths, M. D., Potenza, M. N., Orosz, G., & Demetrovics, Z. (2021). Are sexual functioning problems associated with frequent pornography use and/or problematic pornography use? Results from a large community survey including males and females. Addictive Behaviors, 112, 106603. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106603Copy  problems with arousal and sexual performance,Sun, C., Bridges, A., Johnson, J. A., & Ezzell, M. B. (2016). Pornography and the Male Sexual Script: An Analysis of Consumption and Sexual Relations. Archives of sexual behavior, 45(4), 983–994. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-014-0391-2Copy  difficulty reaching orgasm,Bőthe, B., Tóth-Király, I., Griffiths, M. D., Potenza, M. N., Orosz, G., & Demetrovics, Z. (2021). Are sexual functioning problems associated with frequent pornography use and/or problematic pornography use? Results from a large community survey including males and females. Addictive Behaviors, 112, 106603. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106603Copy  and decreased sexual satisfaction.Szymanski, D. M., & Stewart-Richardson, D. N. (2014). Psychological, Relational, and Sexual Correlates of Pornography Use on Young Adult Heterosexual Men in Romantic Relationships. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 22(1), 64–82. https://doi.org/10.3149/jms.2201.64Copy 

Click here to see sources for these answers.

Store - General

Question: Can pornography be addictive? Is it like a drug?

Answer A: One of the most common questions is whether or not it can be addictive. According to many addiction experts, it absolutely can be.

Not everyone who consumes pornography is “addicted.” However, many experts agree that pornography consumption is a behavior that can qualify as an addiction in serious cases.Love, T., Laier, C., Brand, M., Hatch, L., & Hajela, R. (2015). Neuroscience of Internet Pornography Addiction: A Review and Update. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 5(3), 388–433. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs5030388Copy Stark R., Klucken T. (2017) Neuroscientific Approaches to (Online) Pornography Addiction. In: Montag C., Reuter M. (eds) Internet Addiction. Studies in Neuroscience, Psychology and Behavioral Economics. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-46276-9_7Copy De Sousa, A., & Lodha, P. (2017). Neurobiology of Pornography Addiction - A clinical review. Telangana Journal of Psychiatry, 3(2), 66-70. doi:10.18231/2455-8559.2017.0016Copy  Many studies have illustrated the similarity between substance addiction and compulsive pornography consumption.Voon, V., Mole, T. B., Banca, P., Porter, L., Morris, L., Mitchell, S., Lapa, T. R., Karr, J., Harrison, N. A., Potenza, M. N., & Irvine, M. (2014). Neural correlates of sexual cue reactivity in individuals with and without compulsive sexual behaviours. PloS one, 9(7), e102419. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0102419Copy Snagowski, J., Wegmann, E., Pekal, J., Laier, C., & Brand, M. (2015). Implicit associations in cybersex addiction: Adaption of an Implicit Association Test with pornographic pictures. Addictive behaviors, 49, 7–12. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2015.05.009Copy Gola, M., Wordecha, M., Sescousse, G., Lew-Starowicz, M., Kossowski, B., Wypych, M., Makeig, S., Potenza, M. N., & Marchewka, A. (2017). Can Pornography be Addictive? An fMRI Study of Men Seeking Treatment for Problematic Pornography Use. Neuropsychopharmacology : official publication of the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology, 42(10), 2021–2031. https://doi.org/10.1038/npp.2017.78Copy Snagowski, J., & Brand, M. (2015). Symptoms of cybersex addiction can be linked to both approaching and avoiding pornographic stimuli: results from an analog sample of regular cybersex users. Frontiers in psychology, 6, 653. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00653Copy Laier, C., Pawlikowski, M., Pekal, J., Schulte, F. P., & Brand, M. (2013). Cybersex addiction: Experienced sexual arousal when watching pornography and not real-life sexual contacts makes the difference. Journal of behavioral addictions, 2(2), 100–107. https://doi.org/10.1556/JBA.2.2013.002Copy Laier, C., Pekal, J., & Brand, M. (2014). Cybersex addiction in heterosexual female users of internet pornography can be explained by gratification hypothesis. Cyberpsychology, behavior and social networking, 17(8), 505–511. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2013.0396Copy Snagowski, J., Laier, C., Duka, T., & Brand, M. (2016). Subjective craving for pornography and associative learning predict tendencies towards cybersex addiction in a sample of regular cybersex users.23(4), 342-360. doi:10.1080/10720162.2016.1151390Copy 

Thousands of people’s experiences and research have shown that, with time, they can manage and largely reverse the negative effects of pornography.Young K. S. (2013). Treatment outcomes using CBT-IA with Internet-addicted patients. Journal of behavioral addictions, 2(4), 209–215. https://doi.org/10.1556/JBA.2.2013.4.3Copy Nathanson, A. (2021). Psychotherapy with young people addicted to internet pornography. Psychoanal.Study Child, 74(1), 160-173. doi:10.1080/00797308.2020.1859286Copy 

Answer B: Addictions to harmful substances like tobacco have striking similarities to porn compulsion, including impaired decision-making.

When someone uses an addictive drug, it employs the dopamine process in the brain. This process induces feelings of pleasure and positive reinforcement during the high. Immediately, your hardworking brain starts doing its job. It develops a preference for whatever produces pleasurable feelings, rewiring itself to find and experience them again. Consequently, this creates a feedback loop that leads us to develop and seek out preferred ways of triggering that flood of happy-making chemicals.Brand, M., Snagowski, J., Laier, C., & Maderwald, S. (2016). Ventral striatum activity when watching preferred pornographic pictures is correlated with symptoms of Internet pornography addiction. NeuroImage, 129, 224–232. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2016.01.033Copy De Sousa, A., & Lodha, P. (2017). Neurobiology of Pornography Addiction - A clinical review. Telangana Journal of Psychiatry, 3(2), 66-70. doi:10.18231/2455-8559.2017.0016Copy 

Porn can trigger the brain’s reward system release of dopamine endlessly because it is endlessly available. Just like addictive products such as tobacco, porn can create pathways within the brain that lead to cravings, and those cravings can push consumers to search longer and more diligently for the same level of “high.”Laier, C., & Brand, M. (2017). Mood changes after watching pornography on the Internet are linked to tendencies towards Internet-pornography-viewing disorder. Addictive Behaviors Reports, 5, 9-13. doi:10.1016/j.abrep.2016.11.003Copy  What’s worse is that the amount of dopamine that floods the brain only increases with repeated consumption. Each time a consumer turns to porn, they increase their cravings for more.

Click here to see sources for these answers. 

BHW - General

Question: Does porn hurt anyone—it’s a personal choice. Why are you telling people what to do?

Answer A: Raising awareness of something harmful to society isn’t telling anyone what to do, and the porn industry impacts more people than just consumers.

In the porn industry, ensuring any pornographic content is genuinely consensual, ethical, or legal is virtually impossible. Regrettably, image-based abuse, nonconsensual pornography, and child sexual abuse material are increasingly common issues on porn sites, even mainstream ones. Notably, MindGeek, the company that owns and operates much of the mainstream porn industry, has been sued by almost 100 survivors of sexual exploitation and child sex trafficking. Similarly, non-mainstream sites face the same issues—there are verifiable child exploitation images on OnlyFans, too.

Also, one common argument in defense of porn is that professional performers are all “consenting adults” who “love their jobs.” But unfortunately, that is virtually impossible to guarantee. In the porn industry, the distinction between abuse and consent is so blurred that telling the difference becomes challenging. Performers can be coerced into participating and into lying about their experiences on set, and consumers wouldn’t necessarily be able to tell the difference even if they were watching something nonconsensual.

Answer B: Porn perpetuates, fuels, and supports the demand for sex trafficking.

A trafficking victim in a porn video is unlikely to turn to the camera and announce their exploitation. Even if the victim does register their distress, it’s still virtually impossible to distinguish because rape and abuse-themed porn are so mainstream Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C., & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women, 16(10), 1065–1085. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801210382866Copy  and producers can edit content any way they choose.

Ultimately, modern sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections to pornography:

  • Sex trafficking victims can be forced, tricked, or coerced into pornography production
  • Porn performers can be trafficked into acts they didn’t consent to
  • Porn can be used to groom trafficking victims and “train” them on what is expected of them
  • Porn can normalize sexual violence and objectification. In some cases, consumer desensitization may lead to increased willingness to buy sex. This, in turn, raises the demand for sexual exploitation and contributes to sex trafficking.

Answer C: Porn normalizes abuse, sexual violence, and assault as part of a “fantasy.”

Even by the lowest estimate, 1 in every 3 porn videos depicts sexual violence or aggression.Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A Descriptive Analysis of the Types, Targets, and Relative Frequency of Aggression in Mainstream Pornography. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(8), 3041–3053. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy  In fact, according to a study that analyzed porn titles alone, 1 out of every 8 titles suggested to first-time users on porn sites described acts of sexual violence.Vera-Gray, F., McGlynn, C., Kureshi, I., & Butterby, K. (2021). Sexual violence as a sexual script in mainstream online pornography. The British Journal of Criminology, azab035. doi:10.1093/bjc/azab035Copy  That’s especially concerning, considering that research indicates that these sexually violent narratives can bleed into consumers’ attitudes and behaviors.

One team of researchers had the same question and analyzed hundreds of the most popular porn scenes. They found that 88.2% of these scenes contained physical violence or aggression. Additionally, 48.7% of the scenes included verbal aggression.Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C. & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women, 16(10), 1065–1085. doi:10.1177/1077801210382866Copy  Another study estimated that nearly 40% of videos analyzed on Pornhub contained visible aggression or violence, while 25% contained verbal aggression.Shor, E., & Seida, K. (2019). 'Harder and Harder'? Is Mainstream Pornography Becoming Increasingly Violent and Do Viewers Prefer Violent Content? Journal of sex research, 56(1), 16–28. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1451476Copy  And yet another study suggested that more than 1 in 3 videos on two of the world’s most popular porn sites depicted violence or aggression.Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A Descriptive Analysis of the Types, Targets, and Relative Frequency of Aggression in Mainstream Pornography. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(8), 3041–3053. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy  And as each of these studies agreed, women were almost always the targets.

Click here to see sources for these answers.

For more personal stories about people who have struggled with porn so you can get an idea of how to talk about it, click here.

Fast Facts

Why this matters

Again, check out our online store to grab a conversation-starting tee for yourself! We ship worldwide, too.

Our existence stems from ongoing research revealing the harm of porn, and consumers deserve awareness about what they’re consuming.

We aim to raise awareness that porn isn’t natural. Additionally, it isn’t normal or a healthy part of any meaningful relationship. Many, especially in our tech-obsessed generation, view porn as harmless entertainment. Moreover, some consider it a satisfying substitute for love. However, in reality, we are learning that it is just the opposite. It harms the consumer, making relationships even more difficult and leaving single people even lonelier.

Related: What Research Supports the Idea that “Porn Kills Love”?

We’re here to tell you that love in real life surpasses what porn offers. We’re taking a stand and refusing to settle for anything less than authentic. Fueled by science, this movement advocates for love, healthy relationships, and an exploitation-free society.

Research is telling us something important about the effects of porn. It is not just a simple personal choice with no negative side effects. It harms the brain, hurts relationships, and harms society.

Your Answer Guide to "What Does Porn Kills Love Mean?" and Other Fighter Gear Questions