Porn shows a lot, but we’ll tell you one thing: the most popular videos on the world’s largest porn site don’t show you one thing. Mutual pleasure.
What do these explicit, airbrushed videos teach consumers who probably started watching porn before ever having their own real-life sexual experiences?
Porn is primarily produced for entertainment purposes, not education, but the ideas porn sells are not conducive to a healthy understanding of sex, sexuality, or mutual pleasure. While popular mainstream pornography may be starting to show more balanced displays of pleasure and affection than in the past, a substantial gender gap in depicted orgasms remains.
In fact, research confirms that women are the targets of aggression or violence in porn about 97% of the time Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A Descriptive Analysis of the Types, Targets, and Relative Frequency of Aggression in Mainstream Pornography. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(8), 3041–3053. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy and that only 18.3% of women in popular porn videos (compared to 78% of men) were shown to reach climax.Séguin, L. J., Rodrigue, C., & Lavigne, J. (2018). Consuming Ecstasy: Representations of Male and Female Orgasm in Mainstream Pornography. Journal of sex research, 55(3), 348–356. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2017.1332152Copy
Unequal pleasure dynamics
It’s no secret that porn is often unrealistic. Yet teens may still turn to it for information about sex. In a 2023 nationally representative survey of U.S. teens ages 13–17, 45% said online pornography provides helpful information about sex, while 27% agreed that sex in online pornography accurately represents the way most people have sex. Among all teens surveyed, 27% reported learning “a lot” about how to have sex from pornography.Common Sense Media. (2023). Teens and pornography. Common Sense Media.Copy
Just like cigarette commercials often show healthy people puffing away rather than showing the cancer-causing potential, porn is frequently offering a completely warped and unrealistic idea of what healthy sex and relationships are really like.
In 2018, some researchers at the University of Quebec in Montreal, led by graduate researcher Léa J. Séguin, investigated how today’s porn could be affecting women’s sexual functioning.
In the study’s own words:
“Social representations, which appear in a variety of media, can influence the way sexual experiences are perceived and understood. While pornography is not the only medium in which orgasm is portrayed, it is the most explicit, and it is widespread and easily accessible. As such, pornography is an ideal medium for examining representations of male and female orgasm.”
Translation: what people see in visual representation (movies, TV, porn, etc.) often shapes what they expect in their real-life experiences.
While porn is often called “adult material,” many of its consumers are well under the legal age.Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research.53(4-5), 509-531. doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441Copy Studies show that most young people are exposed to porn by age 12, and according to a 2023 nationally representative survey of U.S. teens ages 13–17, 73% reported having watched pornography online, and 54% of those who had seen pornography reported first seeing it by age 13. Additionally, 44% of all teens surveyed said they had intentionally watched pornography, rather than encountering it only accidentally. Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy
That means that most young people are getting at least some of their education about sex from porn, whether they mean to or not. In fact, one study shows that approximately 45% of teens who consumed porn did so in part to learn about sex.British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/researchCopy More recent survey data suggests pornography continues to play a significant role in how young adults learn about sex. In a 2025 survey of more than 5,300 Gen Z adults ages 18–29 in the UK, 45% said pornography was one of their main sources of information about sex, including 49% of men and 38% of women. Additionally, 65% said pornography was their first exposure to sex.LADbible Group. (2025). For Fck's Sake. LADbible Group.Copy
So, observing how porn portrays pleasure for both men and women while understanding that many teens watch porn with the intent of learning about sex can shed light on what people are really expecting to experience in the bedroom.
A 2018 study examining the 50 most-viewed Pornhub videos found a striking gender gap in depicted orgasms. In those videos, 78% of men were shown reaching orgasm, compared with just 18.3% of women.
The researcher’s conclusion is that “representations of male and female orgasm in mainstream pornography may serve to perpetuate unrealistic beliefs and expectations in relation to female orgasm and male sexual performance,” and according to Séguin, “the male orgasm is paramount.”
While more recent research suggests that some aspects of mainstream pornography may be changing, the orgasm gap still remains. A 2026 study analyzed 255 highly watched heterosexual Pornhub videos uploaded over more than two decades. Researchers found that the gap between male and female displays of pleasure has closed slightly in recent years and that depictions of affection have doubled. However, the gender gap in the depicted climax remained substantial. Male climax was depicted in 83.5% of videos, and female climax 23.5%.Shor, E., & Leblanc, Z. (2026). Gendered pleasures: Time trends in pornographic displays of pleasure and affection. Sociology. https://doi.org/10.1177/00380385261432884Copy
Porn sex vs. real sex
Porn doesn’t just differ from real-life sex when it comes to orgasms.
One study compared 2,562 mainstream male-female porn videos with sexual experiences reported in a nationally representative U.S. survey. Researchers found that kissing, female orgasm, male orgasm, and condom use were all significantly less common in the porn videos than in participants’ reported most recent sexual experiences.Fritz, N., Malic, V., Fu, T.-C., Paul, B., Zhou, Y., Dodge, B., Fortenberry, J. D., & Herbenick, D. (2022). Porn sex versus real sex: Sexual behaviors reported by a U.S. probability survey compared to depictions of sex in mainstream internet-based male–female pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 51(2), 1187–1200. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02175-6Copy
Meanwhile, some behaviors, including anal intercourse and fellatio, appeared significantly more often in the porn videos than in people’s reported sexual experiences.
In other words, even as some portrayals of pleasure in mainstream pornography may be changing, porn still isn’t necessarily an accurate representation of what partnered sex looks like in real life.
Why this matters
One study examined adolescent porn use. It concluded that porn promotes male domination, hypermasculinity, and prioritizing male sexual pleasure.Copy
What kind of education is that?
Think about this, too: What messages does this kind of content send to young women and girls? It says their enjoyment of sex with a committed and consensual partner isn’t important. It implies they must accept being controlled and dominated. Pornography can communicate sexual scripts about whose pleasure matters, what sex is supposed to look like, and what partners should expect from one another. That’s particularly important when consumers turn to pornography for information about sex rather than recognizing it for what it is: entertainment created for an audience.
Taking sex tips from an industry that profits from fake (or nonexistent) orgasms is definitely not recommended.
Why this matters
Mainstream pornography may be evolving. Slowly. Sure, porn might show a little more pleasure, but pleasure isn’t the same thing as mutuality, and displaying pleasure isn’t the same thing as teaching healthy sexuality. A substantial gender gap in depicted orgasms still remains, and research comparing porn with people’s actual sexual experiences has found meaningful differences in everything from kissing and orgasm to condom use and particular sexual behaviors.
That’s especially important when pornography becomes a source of information about sex. It’s not reflecting real life. It’s not preparing you for real-life sexual encounters. Pornography is created primarily to entertain and arouse, not to teach communication, consent, mutual respect, or what healthy intimacy looks like.
So even as the content evolves, the takeaway remains: porn isn’t sex education.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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