Porn shows a lot, but we’ll tell you one thing the most popular videos on the world’s largest porn site don’t show—mutual pleasure.
And if even if you’re not in a sexually active relationship, that is completely okay. This is still important and relevant info and about why porn makes for terrible education about sex.
What do these explicit, airbrushed images teach consumers who probably started watching explicit content before ever having their own real-life sexual experiences?
Porn is primarily produced for entertainment purposes, not education, but the ideas porn sells are not conducive to a healthy understanding of sex, sexuality, or mutual pleasure.
n fact, research confirms that women are the targets of aggression or violence in porn about 97% of the time,Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A Descriptive Analysis of the Types, Targets, and Relative Frequency of Aggression in Mainstream Pornography. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(8), 3041–3053. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy and that only 18.3% of women in popular porn videos (compared to 78% of men) were shown to reach climax.Séguin, L. J., Rodrigue, C., & Lavigne, J. (2018). Consuming Ecstasy: Representations of Male and Female Orgasm in Mainstream Pornography. Journal of sex research, 55(3), 348–356. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2017.1332152Copy
Unequal pleasure dynamics
It’s no secret that porn is wildly unrealistic and often incredibly toxic, yet survey results also showed that over half of 11 to 16-year-old boys (53%) and over a third of 11 to 16-year-old girls (39%) reported believing that pornography was a realistic depiction of sex, and 44% of boys who watched porn reported that online pornography gave them ideas about the type of sex they wanted to try.Martellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). 'I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it'. London: NSPCC. Retrieved from https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/2016/i-wasn-t-sure-it-was-normal-to-watch-itCopy
Just like cigarette commercials often show healthy people puffing away rather than showing the cancer-causing potential, porn is frequently offering a completely warped and unrealistic idea of what healthy sex and relationships are really like.
In 2018, some researchers at the University of Quebec in Montreal, led by graduate researcher Léa J. Séguin, investigated how today’s porn could be affecting women’s sexual functioning.
In the study’s own words:
“Social representations, which appear in a variety of media, can influence the way sexual experiences are perceived and understood. While pornography is not the only medium in which orgasm is portrayed, it is the most explicit, and it is widespread and easily accessible. As such, pornography is an ideal medium for examining representations of male and female orgasm.”
Translation: what people see in visual representation (movies, TV, porn etc.) often shapes what they expect in their real-life experiences.
While porn is often called “adult material,” many of its consumers are well under the legal age.Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research.53(4-5), 509-531. doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441Copy Studies show that most young people are exposed to porn by age 13,British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/researchCopy and according to a nationally representative survey of U.S. teens, 84.4% of 14 to 18-year-old males and 57% of 14 to 18-year-old females have viewed pornography.Wright, P. J., Paul, B., & Herbenick, D. (2021). Preliminary insights from a U.S. probability sample on adolescents’ pornography exposure, media psychology, and sexual aggression. J.Health Commun., 1-8. doi:10.1080/10810730.2021.1887980Copy
That means that most young people are getting at least some of their education about sex from porn, whether they mean to or not. In fact, one study shows that approximately 45% of teens who consumed porn did so in part to learn about sex.British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/researchCopy Similarly, survey results also show one in four 18 to 24-year-olds (24.5%) listed pornography as the most helpful source to learn how to have sex.Rothman, E. F., Beckmeyer, J. J., Herbenick, D., Fu, T. C., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2021). The Prevalence of Using Pornography for Information About How to Have Sex: Findings from a Nationally Representative Survey of U.S. Adolescents and Young Adults. Archives of sexual behavior, 50(2), 629–646. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01877-7Copy
So observing how porn portrays pleasure for both men and women, while understanding that many teens watch porn with the intent of learning about sex, can shed light about what people are really expecting to experience in the bedroom.
In that study we mentioned earlier about orgasms shown in porn, in 2018, researchers viewed and coded the 50 most viewed videos of all time on Pornhub, watching for pleasure-inducing acts and clear indicators of enjoyment from performers. Content analysis was used to code and analyze the data, and results were analyzed in light of sexual script theory and previous orgasm research, according to the study.
Their findings? In these top videos, 78% of men were shown having an orgasm, compared to just 18.3% of women.
The researcher’s conclusion is that “representations of male and female orgasm in mainstream pornography may serve to perpetuate unrealistic beliefs and expectations in relation to female orgasm and male sexual performance,” and according to Séguin, “that the male orgasm is paramount.”
In other words, porn sells damaging ideas about mutual pleasure not being important, and packages it as a sexual fantasy. Also, porn often normalizes the idea that women don’t enjoy sex and men to always take charge in the bedroom—both of which are not only inaccurate, but unhealthy ideas.
Why this matters
One recent study of adolescent porn use concluded that the major messages presented by porn are male domination, hypermasculinity, and making male sexual pleasure the top priority.Copy
What kind of education is that?
“It’s sad,” says Dr. Gary Brooks, a psychology professor who studies the effects of porn. “Boys who are initiated in [to] sex through these images become indoctrinated in a way that can potentially stay with them for the rest of their lives.”Paul, P. (2007). Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, And Our Families. New York: Henry Hold & Co., 187.Copy Not to mention that they might start to believe that to truly be a “man,” they need to be aggressive and seek domination in bed.
And think about this, too—what messages does this kind of content send to young women and girls? It says that their enjoyment of sex with a committed and consensual partner isn’t important, and that they have to accept being controlled and dominated.
So what can be learned from these studies? For one, the harmful effects of porn also apply to harming relational satisfaction and mutual respect. And just another reason to avoid porn?
Taking sex tips from an industry that profits from fake (or nonexistent) orgasms is definitely not recommended.
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