TRIGGER WARNING
The following post contains descriptions of pornographic scenes and sexual situations.
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Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.


Porn has had a detrimental effect on my relationships with men, but I didn’t realize it until I was exposed to a lot of porn in the workplace.

I worked as a receptionist in a legal Melbourne brothel that marketed itself as a “high end” venue. I didn’t recognize why I was getting very unpleasant and degrading demands from my male partners until I saw porn for myself. It was playing on big screens in every room that I could not escape and I feel that I suffered Post Traumatic Stress from being exposed to this imagery.

This was just mainstream “vanilla” porn that I can only define as violence against women on film. I can still see the images in my head and it was over 10 years ago. This was just regular porn probably described as “soft porn” by today’s standards.

It’s easy to believe something when you don’t see it for yourself

Before I worked in this job I was pro-porn and pro-sex trade. I thought there was nothing unhealthy with watching naked people having sex to get aroused, until I saw for myself the level of degradation, exploitation, and abuse that male clients were being aroused by. I also thought that selling sex for women was a legitimate career if a woman chose to do it.

In the 2 years I was in that job I don’t think I met one woman who was doing it because she really wanted to. It was more of a last resort because she had no other options.

Related: Legalized Prostitution In Germany Looks Like A Living Nightmare (PHOTOS)

The sex buyers that came into the brothel wanted exactly what was in the porn, and they would complain to me if they did not get it. They wanted the “fantasy” is how they described it.

Sex buyers only wanted the real-life porn experience

They expected the women to look like the women in porn who looked more like girls. Porn actresses in this porn typically looked about 14 years old with long, straight blonde hair, large fake breasts, and no pubic hair. The men protested to me that the women working were too old, even though the oldest woman in the place was around 25. Men said they were too overweight and that the “quality” was not good enough, just like they were pieces of meat.

I noticed that men who consume porn view women in this way, like they are pieces of meat that exist exclusively for their sexual pleasure. To them, it seems women are not human, and this is how I felt with my partners who had a porn habit. To be honest I have nothing else to compare them to but the situation is getting worse with the proliferation and easy accessibility of free internet porn.

The men expected the sexual practices they saw in porn from the women working in the brothel. During this time, it dawned on me that my partners were getting their sexual expectations from porn, too.

On every shift, there was one or more incidence of abuse, violence, and rough treatment from the men. They expected their experience to include anal sex, they wanted to ejaculate on the women’s faces and there were regular reports of hair pulling, verbal abuse, biting and men taking the condom off or expecting sex with no condom. I never saw condoms in the porn. Porn has become sex education for many, and the sex buyers freely admit this fact.

Watch: This documentary exposes the link between pornography and sexual exploitation

We can’t ignore the impact porn has on consumers

I am single now and don’t want to be with a partner who watches porn. Being alone is much more preferable. In the past, all of my partners were porn consumers who had some unpleasant and degrading sexual requests.

This problem is becoming progressively worse, but even in the 90’s before internet porn, the impact that porn was having on men was noticeable. I could tell that they were visualising porn while they were with me, which is very off-putting and hurtful to the relationship. It ruins trust in your partner and makes you feel undesirable and inadequate.

Related: How “Recruiters” Use Social Media To Trick Teens Into Cam Model Scams

Young men who should be full of stamina cannot maintain an erection in some sexual situations. They seem to lack spontaneity and a sense of fun in the bedroom, they don’t like to kiss and some don’t even know how to do the basics of foreplay and intimacy. It has reached a crisis point and I really wish porn consumers would do some self-reflection realize the negative consequences that porn is having on relationships and their sexual health.

Jacqueline

Porn and prostitution are interlinked

As stated in this report by the nonprofit Slavery No More“Pornography is the most glorified type of prostitution there is. It’s a billion-dollar legal industry.”

Research shows that 39% of those who participated in prostitution were “regular pornography consumers” who were “reenacting pornography with women in prostitution.”

According to this research“46-48% of interviewees purchased sex in order to obtain sex acts they either felt uncomfortable asking of their partner or which their partner refused to perform. The most commonly cited acts were anal sex (27%) followed by oral sex (7%). Other acts mentioned included group sex, using sex toys, sadomasochism, domination, and other fetishes.”

Related: Are Porn And Prostitution Really That Different From Each Other?

What are some of the sexual acts people sought out to perform with prostitutes? To quote directly from the study“I want to pay someone to do something a normal person wouldn’t do. To piss on someone or pay someone to do something degrading who is not my girlfriend” and, “Anything you can’t get from your girlfriend or wife, you can get from a prostitute.”

Prostitution is a way to fulfill what pornography promises. To some consumers, who are male by the majority, pornography and prostitution are one in the same, with 49% of men stating that they think of women in pornography as prostitutes. Prostitution, it seems, is just one of the ways a consumer can re-enact sex acts viewed in pornography.

We can do better than view people as products. Stopping the demand for sexual exploitation starts right here, and now.

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