Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
We recently received a true story from a male Fighter that shows us just how much compulsively watching porn can damage relationships, and just how much better life is without it. Some stories, like this one, illustrate how the hollowness of porn doesn't compare to the joys of love in real life.
Hey FTND,
First off, I want to thank you guys for all the good that you’re doing! I know you’ve heard it so many times before, but I’m grateful for what you guys are doing.
I’ve seen a few stories of people that struggle with addiction to porn, and thought I’d take a moment to share mine with the world. I’ve never experienced a more reckless poison than pornography. It truly does kill every piece of self-confidence, self-worth, and your ability to truly experience feelings of love.
My first encounter with it was when I was in 5th grade, and my friends dared me to jump over the fence at school during recess to grab a porn magazine. I remember that day like it was yesterday because it had an immediate hold on me. Growing up I’d been involved with it because it seemed like everyone did it, but it really didn’t have a great effect on me until I was about 22.
Related: 5 Reasons Why Real Love Will Always Be More Satisfying Than Porn
I got married when I was 21 to the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. She was everything I’d ever wanted in a wife. A year into our marriage, after going so long without porn, I’d gotten into it. This time was different than others because I couldn’t stop myself. There was something about it that gave me such a rush.
During the time that I was heavily looking at porn my wife was pregnant with our first child. The pregnancy was really hard for my wife. She was a high-risk pregnancy, and it had a huge effect on our relationship. I felt as though there was a strain on our relationship because she had turned into this really mean person. I dove deeper into addiction. I couldn’t go a day without looking at it. It was something that became a necessity for me.
Fast forward about 13 months. We moved out to the mid-west where my wife is from originally. I had been so entrapped with porn that I didn’t realize what it was doing to my marriage, and family. I had an affair on my wife with a woman from work who was older, and also married. It was exciting. It was something new. It was a rush.
My wife eventually found out about everything, and my world felt like it was crashing down on me. I hurt the one person I promised to love and cherish forever.
Related: How Porn Can Hijack & Destroy A Relationship In Just 5 Steps
The reason I share my story is because it’s one of hope for others out there who struggle. My wife and I are still together after everything that happened, and after all the hurt and pain I caused her. She has been the biggest help in ridding myself of this addiction. Porn caused me to lose sight of the love that I once had for my wife. It changed my view on what love is. I made her feel like an object. I caused her to lose all confidence in herself. I did it those things to her yet she still continues to love me.
We’ve never been happier, and we continue to strengthen our relationship. There is light at the end of this even though it may seem that there is no end to porn. I love my wife and even though I still struggle with my addiction I now have HOPE. I don’t need to look at porn to satisfy anything in my life. I have my family.
Thanks for letting me share my story. I hope that someone benefits from hearing it!
–C.
Why this matters
Research shows how watching porn can rewire the brain to be accepting of things we would normally say isn’t acceptable. Regardless of how long anyone has struggled with porn, recovery is more than possible—it is biological. Porn is not worth your time or attention because life is so much healthier without it. This Fighter’s story shows us how true that is!
Get Involved
Porn is lame, and it hurts lives and relationships. SHARE this article if you want others to know that life is so much better without porn!
Need help?
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify, a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope—sign up today.
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