Photo by Brooke Cagle. 4 minute read.
I’ve Never Felt Like This
Dear FTND,
So this is what it feels like being head-over-heels in love with a girl. Your cities of residence may be neighbors, but it feels like a million miles apart, all because she isn’t with you. You imagine having kids with her. You imagine doing household chores with her. You imagine the occasional glance at her that feels like you are looking at the world’s wonders combined, and your day is made. You imagine showing her all the skeletons in your closet, and she’ll be ok with that.
Related: How Our Porn-Obsessed Culture Has Changed The Way We Date
If I had sex with her (which I am reserving until marriage), I would imagine how amazing it would be, joining with her. I know for sure it won’t be in the same way that porn stars do it, because my beloved isn’t a porn star, but rather, a human being with a wonderful personality, coupled by unrivaled beauty. I won’t have sex at her; I will have it with her.
Did I feel like this when I was addicted to porn? Did I feel like I wanted to be with porn, love it, and marry it? Did porn give me this giddy feeling? My answer: NO.
So, tell me FTND, is this how it feels like looking at a girl without porn-tinted eyes for the first time, even just 4 days into a porn-free life?
Thanks,
Fighter from the Philippines
My Sex Life Dramatically Improved
Hey FTND,
It has been 80 days without porn, and although I am realistic about relapses and reality of how things go, so not out of the woods yet. But I’m very pleased with the progress!
The very unexpected payoff has been in my sex life. I would have said that my past issues with watching porn very frequently no longer affected my sex life. More recently, I only looked at porn once every 4 – 6 weeks, and that wouldn’t have much affect on one’s sex life, would it? I was soooo wrong! Have noticed that the intimacy and connection seem so much stronger, deeper and more intense. It is like we have gone back to those first years of marriage when youthful vigor made the bedroom an awesome place.
Related: Millennial Sex Isn’t Great, And Porn Is Partly To Blame
It has flowed outside the bedroom as well with more loving touch and hugs. Our marriage was already in a good space, but this change has made it even better.
I have no idea what exactly has created this (as a science geek, I like to figure out the why’s) but very happy and stoked that this has occurred. And look forward to a self-reinforcing behavior, as it is much better this way.
Cheers,
Fighter from New Zealand
Finally Falling in Real Love
FTND,
At the end of today, I will have hit 30 days of being porn-free. This streak started when I started following your campaign because literally, everything I was doing wasn’t working. This has been the longest I have gone without looking at porn since I was 15 years old (the first time I saw pornography). And after 5 years of fighting, and I finally got over the hill.
Related: I’m Hopeful For The First Time Since Learning About My Partner’s Porn Issue
As we speak, I am falling in the deepest love imaginable. Porn pretty much ruined my ability to believe I would ever see a healthy and fruitful relationship, and now, it is as if the smoke has cleared and I am head over heels, falling into a REAL love.
I can’t begin to tell you guys what this awareness campaign means to me, and what your work for years has meant to me.
Blessings,
Fighter from the U.S.
Why This Matters
Reality is so much better than the synthetic, violent world porn depicts, and these messages are just small examples of that.
The facts show how porn is devoid of real connection and intimacy, and sets consumers up to have unrealistic expectations for themselves and their partner. Science and research are showing just how unhealthy porn is for consumers and their relationships, and these stories reinforce that life and relationships are so much healthier and richer without porn. If you’re not sure, try giving it up for one month and see what happens.
Real people have quirks, flaws, and personalities that even the “best” porn can’t rival. These Fighters’ lives were changed after just a few weeks or days—imagine how awesome a year and more would be without porn.
Need help?
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify, a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope—sign up today.
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