Cover photo by Frank Marino. 3 minute read.
Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
We recently received this true story that shows how each of us can be vulnerable to a cyber attack, leaving us potentially exposed for the internet to see. Of course, this is an extreme case, but we'd guess that there are more personal hack attack victims than we realize who might not know they've been compromised.
I’m writing this message because people believe, or want to believe, porn doesn’t hurt anybody. Porn hurts even the willing participants.
I was not a willing participant.
This story starts about two years ago, when I started getting strange phone calls from a blocked number. A man would repeat the conversations I was having in person. It first started when I was talking to my daughter, who was 6 at the time. We were speaking Spanish, and a man called me private and repeated our conversation word for word. I thought it was somehow my boyfriend playing a prank on me since we are always silly with each other.
The phone calls happened more often, and would happen when I was going into the shower or naked. He wouldn’t say anything. I started noticing this pattern and then he called one day and said, “I watch.” He called me unblocked this time, and it was a number of a city about 100 miles away.
That’s when I realized my microphone and camera were hacked. We found out a live feed of me was being sold on a porn site! All day, all night, my most intimate and private moments were sold to anyone willing to pay the subscription fee to gain access. Making love with my boyfriend, time with my daughter, and other very personal moments were now a porn show for others.
It got far too real when the man got hold of my password and tried to log into my account to find my exact location. He was still 100 miles away, but this man was almost able to find me, and be at my door in a matter of hours.
I factory reset my phone and my boyfriend called Apple, T Mobile, and the police. All said there was nothing they can do.
The truth is, the laws haven’t caught up to technology, and the technology isn’t as advanced as hackers and the people who sell sex and degrade others for a living. Think about how many people this is happening to, and they just don’t know. They access your phone by apps we download. They have thousands of us for sale. The dark web is filled with porn and illegal things that are not made by people who “just love to make porn.” It is filled with a lot of unwilling participants, and anyone can be one of them. I was one of them.
I end on this note. If your hatred of women and people is this bad, then seek help. Porn is a place where the hatred and violence of women are celebrated. Learn what real sex and true connection can do for your life.
Violating your privacy
This Fighter’s situation isn’t very common, but it is possible. Tech experts say that it’s not often or likely that a hacker can get into your phone’s camera, but one way it could happen is if a user downloads an infected app that’s rewritten to allow remote access. Yikes.
But technical details aside, if this story tells us anything, it’s that the porn world doesn’t care about your privacy and twisted hackers don’t mind humiliating and degrading people for a quick buck.
In fact, there are plenty of porn consumers willing to pay to view someone’s private moments that have no idea they’re being watched, or recorded. And if there are consumers who dig something, you can be sure that there are pornographers willing to give it to them. A top category on Pornhub, one of the world’s largest free porn sites, is “spying” videos, where the whole thrill of the content is violating other people’s privacy.
This pornification of everyday behavior is a concerning trend. Normal things like showering, using the bathroom, and changing clothes are not inherently sexual in nature, and yet porn twisted these every day things and made them so.
Why this matters
Everybody has a right to privacy. Nobody should fear that their most personal and intimate moments could be uploaded to a website to be viewed by millions, and nobody should worry that they are being filmed without their consent. Nobody deserves such treatment, and yet this is exactly what the porn industry is doing. The porn industry is fueling exploitation, violations of privacy, and emotional damage because of the content they are creating, publishing, and sharing.
For all the damage that the porn industry is inflicting on our society, there is one piece of hope: you can change it. Your clicks can make an incredible difference in shutting down these categories of porn. If there is no demand for voyeuristic or revenge porn, the porn industry will not reward it—it’s as simple as that. If we stop the demand, we can stop the exploitation.
Are you with us?