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We made it. All 67 months of 2022 are over, and we’re onto a new year…finally.
In the days leading up to New Year’s, you probably spend time reflecting on what to do with a fresh start in 2023. New Year’s resolutions are firm decisions to do or not do something in an effort to improve your life.
If you consume porn, have you considered how it doesn’t make your life better, even if it does pass the time? It may bring short-term gratification but ultimately holds you back, hurts your relationships, and doesn’t make you feel great about yourself or others in the long-term.
Related: 50 Good Reasons To Stop Watching Porn Forever
There’s actually science behind why porn makes you feel this way. Let’s dive into why ditching porn can help you have a more fulfilling 2023.
1. Think of the increased time you’ll have—and what you could do with it
Did you know that just one major porn site alone received 42 billion visits in 2019? That equals more than 115 million average visits each day—or the populations of Canada, Poland, Taiwan, and Australia combined.
Not to mention that 2019 saw over 5.8 billion hours of porn consumed—or 664,920 years’ worth—worldwide in this year alone. (Also, consider the disturbing list of most-searched terms.)
Imagine if, instead of consuming porn, people collectively spent that time doing something positive that gave back to themselves or others? How much more investment would there be in relationships, hobbies, studies, or getting involved in your community if porn wasn’t in the picture?
2. Improve the quality of your relationships
In porn, everything from the way people look to how and why they have sex is fake. Porn consumers can become so preoccupied with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on actual relationships.
As world-renowned relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman wrote about porn, “Intimacy for couples is a source of connection and communication between two people. But when one person becomes accustomed to masturbating to porn, they are actually turning away from intimate interaction. [Additionally], when watching pornography the user is in total control of the sexual experience, in contrast to normal sex in which people are sharing control with the partner… In summary, we are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony.”Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. (April 5, 2016). An open letter on porn. Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-open-letter-on-porn/Copy One study showed that those who never viewed pornography reported higher relationship quality—on every measure—than those who viewed pornography alone.Maddox, A. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Viewing Sexually-Explicit Materials Alone Or Together: Associations With Relationship Quality. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 40(2), 441-448. Doi:10.1007/S10508-009-9585-4Copy Staying away from porn is a great way to invest in your relationships.
Also, research suggests that consuming porn can result in poorer body image—both for the consumers and for their partners.Tylka, T. L. (2015). No harm in looking, right? Men’s pornography consumption, body image, and well-being. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 16(1), 97–107. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035774Copy Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2015). You Looking at Her “Hot” Body May Not be “Cool” for Me: Integrating Male Partners’ Pornography Use into Objectification Theory for Women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(1), 67–84. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684314521784Copy
So refusing to click can help your relationship with yourself as well as others!
3. Help stop the global issue of sex trafficking
Sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections to pornography. Even in the production of mainstream porn, sex trafficking can still occur—and it happens more often than most people think.Cole, S., & Maiberg, E. (2020). Pornhub doesn't care. Vice. Retrieved from https://www.vice.com/en/article/9393zp/how-pornhub-moderation-works-girls-do-pornCopy BBC News. (2020). GirlsDoPorn: Young women win legal battle over video con. BBC News. Retrieved from https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-50982051Copy
Trafficking is legally defined as a situation in which “a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such act has not attained 18 years of age.”Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) of 2000, Pub. L. No. 106–386, Section 102(a), 114 Stat. 1464. https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/BILLS-106hr3244enr/pdf/BILLS-106hr3244enr.pdfCopy Manipulation and coercion are unfortunately common in the porn industry, which legally qualifies as sex trafficking. Again, there’s no viable way for a consumer to guarantee that the porn they’re watching is truly consensual and free of abuse or coercion.
As long as there’s a demand for porn—especially porn that is extreme, abusive, or degrading—the porn industry will continue to exploit vulnerable people to meet that demand.
By refusing to consume porn, you can help stop the demand for human sex trafficking—a global issue that is inseparably linked to the porn industry.
4. Love deeper and fear commitment less
Getting rid of porn can help you feel more satisfied, happier, and passionate with the one you love.
One Fighter shared:
“Today, I’ll have hit 30 days of being porn-free. This has been the longest I’ve gone without looking at porn since I was 15 years old. As we speak, I’m falling in the deepest love imaginable. Porn pretty much ruined my ability to believe I would ever see a healthy and fruitful relationship, and now, it’s as if the smoke has cleared and I’m head over heels, falling into a REAL love.”
Related: 6 Reasons Why Ditching Porn Can Be A Gift To You And Your Relationships
Eliminating porn can increase your ability to connect on a deeper level romantically, and have greater confidence to commit when the right person comes along. Who wouldn’t want that?
5. Free your mind and be more focused
A porn habit can consume your time, attention, and energy. Research shows that many porn consumers report neglecting basic needs like eating or sleeping in favor of watching porn.Dwulit, A. D., & Rzymski, P. (2019). Prevalence, Patterns and Self-Perceived Effects of Pornography Consumption in Polish University Students: A Cross-Sectional Study. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(10), 1861. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16101861Copy Without healthy food and sleep habits, your body can easily feel drained of the emotional, physical, and mental energy it needs to keep up with the daily hustle of life.
By turning off the monitor, you can refocus on building healthy habits.
6. Become happier and more confident
Want to be happier and feel better about yourself? Research indicates that consuming porn is linked with more negative body image, lower self-esteem, and poorer mental health.Owens, E. W., Behun, R. J., Manning, J. C., & Reid, R. C. (2012). The impact of internet pornography on adolescents: A review of the research. 19(1-2), 99-122. doi:10.1080/10720162.2012.660431Copy Koletić G. (2017). Longitudinal associations between the use of sexually explicit material and adolescents' attitudes and behaviors: A narrative review of studies. Journal of adolescence, 57, 119–133. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.006Copy By kicking the habit, you can start to build confidence in all aspects of life.
Related: An Inside Look At The Lives Of 5 Guys Who Have Given Up Porn
Here’s what a Fighter shared about his experience:
“I can’t tell you all how much happier I am since I’ve stopped watching porn. I’ve been single a long time and still am, but I’m actually interested in finding something special in a girl instead of just sex. I was so unhappy with my life. Now just waking up happy every morning is awesome. I’m so happy I got out of that life.”
7. Have a more fulfilling sex life
Perhaps the biggest lie porn sells is that its fantasy world is filled with sex positivity: sexual education, more sex, better sex, etc. What it doesn’t mention, however, is that the fantasy world it sells can warp sexual expectations in unhealthy ways.
It’s no secret that porn is wildly unrealistic and often straight-up toxic, yet 1 in 4 young adults report believing that porn is the most helpful source to learn how to have sex, according to a 2021 study.Rothman, E. F., Beckmeyer, J. J., Herbenick, D., Fu, T. C., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2021). The Prevalence of Using Pornography for Information About How to Have Sex: Findings from a Nationally Representative Survey of U.S. Adolescents and Young Adults. Archives of sexual behavior, 50(2), 629–646. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01877-7Copy Another study indicated that young people often reported trying to copy porn in their own sexual encounters, and that the pressure to imitate porn was often an aspect of unhealthy relationships.Rothman, E. F., Kaczmarsky, C., Burke, N., Jansen, E., & Baughman, A. (2015). 'Without Porn … I Wouldn't Know Half the Things I Know Now: A Qualitative Study of Pornography Use Among a Sample of Urban, Low-Income, Black and Hispanic Youth. Journal of sex research, 52(7), 736–746. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2014.960908Copy Bottom line, porn isn’t contributing to a healthy understanding of sex.
Give yourself and your partner a real sex-positive gift by taking porn out of the equation—like this Fighter from New Zealand:
“It’s been 80 days without porn. The very unexpected payoff has been in my sex life. I’ve noticed that the intimacy and connection seem so much stronger, deeper and more intense. It’s like we’ve gone back to those first years of marriage when youthful vigor made the bedroom an awesome place! It’s flowed outside the bedroom as well with more loving touch and hugs. Our marriage was already in a good space, but this change has made it even better.”
What you could do with a porn-free 2023
Giving up porn may seem tough, but there are resources and communities available to help you.
Here’s a good place to start: set a goal to give up porn for just 30 days. By the end, you could be like others around the world who experienced greater control, self-esteem, freedom, ambition, relationship satisfaction, and productivity by taking on the challenge.
Related: I Tried Giving Up Porn For One Month, Here’s How It Went
Set yourself free to achieve more, love yourself and others better, and make an impact on the world.
Make 2023 your greatest year yet—or at least better than 2021—by eliminating porn from your story. What do you have to lose?
Need help?
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify, a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope—sign up today.
Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.
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