This guest piece was written by Rus Funk, an anti-racism and gender justice advocate.
Men, Are We Willing to Examine Pornography’s Impact? A version of this article was originally published in VoiceMale Magazine (spring 2019)Copy
By Rus Ervin Funk, MSW, CSE
Many men view pornography. Experience and evidence suggest that viewing pornography is almost a universally accepted practice by men. A majority of men view pornography, and most do so on a regular basis.Solano, I., Eaton, N. R., & O'Leary, K. D. (2020). Pornography Consumption, Modality and Function in a Large Internet Sample. Journal of sex research, 57(1), 92–103. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1532488Copy
While recent research suggests that an increasing number of women also view pornography,Solano, I., Eaton, N. R., & O'Leary, K. D. (2020). Pornography Consumption, Modality and Function in a Large Internet Sample. Journal of sex research, 57(1), 92–103. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1532488Copy the reasons that women view pornography and the dynamics of women viewing appear to be drastically different than the reasons for men’s viewing and the dynamics of male viewing.
For the purposes of this article, and because both I am a man and my experience is limited to working with men and boys, I will be focusing on men’s experiences of viewing pornography.
A pornographic sexual foundation
Increasingly, adolescent boys are using online pornography as a way to supplement the sexuality education (or lack thereof) they are receiving at home and in school, as researchers Mary Crabbe and Michael Flood noted in a 2017 report on pornography’s influence on young people.Crabbe, M., & Flood, M. (2021). School-based education to address pornography’s influence on young people: A proposed practice framework.16(1), 1-37. doi:10.1080/15546128.2020.1856744Copy
As with any media, the images, words, and depictions of pornography convey more than just the “story” of nudity and graphic sex. Embedded within pornography are a host of values and norms that may well conflict with the values and norms of the men viewing pornography. Because these values and norms are embedded and not explicitly expressed, when men consume pornography, they also consume these norms and values.
Further, because men most often are masturbating while consuming pornography, the values and norms they are consuming are being directly connected to the pleasure centers of the brain. The result? These norms and values are much more deeply integrated and internalized than other information that men who view pornography are taking in.
Because men rarely (individually or in groups) pay attention to these embedded values and norms they internalize pornography’s values and norms about women, men and masculinity, sex and sexuality, racism, objectification, harm, and violence, among others, that if they were paying attention they would actually find deplorable.
My personal experience with porn
I grew up in a “sex-positive” household in the 1970s and ’80s in south Texas. My parents were sexuality educators, and along with the first editions of Our Bodies Ourselves, we had my dad’s Playboy and Penthouse magazines—all on our living room bookshelf. I grew up viewing pornography.
When I attended college in the mid-eighties and first became aware and educated about rape, domestic violence and other forms of gender-based violence, I was also exposed to a gender equality critique of pornography.
I was forced to reflect on my patterns of viewing pornography and the impact it had, as well as observing the pornography viewing patterns of the men in dorms I lived in. One of my reflections was how much my own flirting was based on sexualizing and objectifying the women I flirted with.
As I started to understand better the harm that women experience as a result of men’s sexualized objectification, I realized I wanted to change how I flirted. But I had so deeply integrated what I had learned from viewing pornography (likely magnified by the absence of any other information about how to flirt), I didn’t have any idea how to flirt without sexualizing or objectifying.
I realized that I needed to take a hiatus from flirting and dating until I could get my mind right. (It is worth noting that as I started to figure out how to flirt without sexualizing or objectifying, I came to realize that I am attracted to people—sometimes female, sometimes male.)
What I saw from my male peers in college and since—coupled with what I have learned from men as I work to prevent all forms of gender-based violence—suggests that my experience is not unique.
These factors laid the foundation for creating a program for men to examine the impact of pornography critically.
What’s Wrong with this Picture™ is designed to support and encourage men to seriously investigate the impact viewing pornography has on men. There are several aspects to the program, but the main feature is an eight-session curriculum with critical reflection at its core.
What’s Wrong with this Picture?
Based loosely on the concept of media literacy, the curriculum is an activity-rich initiative that supports men to identify some of the values and norms inherent in pornography. It asks them to examine the degree to which the values and norms central to the pornography they are consuming align with their own values and norms.
By placing these depictions and experiences on a continuum of harm, participants observe the strong differences of opinion that exist among men.
For many men, the exercise is their first experience considering these differences. Most men assume that since pornography use is normal, then their experience of viewing pornography is normal.
Through the exercise, they are confronted with some men—their peers—who consider what they are doing to be harmful. They also are hearing directly from other men, resulting in their beginning to reconsider the level of harm that they are condoning or contributing to by the kinds of pornography they’re consuming.
What’s Wrong with this Picture is not value-neutral. It is informed by the wealth of data that demonstrates that viewing pornography is harmful to consumers and is detrimental to efforts to achieve gender equality and women’s human rights. The messages, norms and values inherent in pornography are irreconcilable with the messages, norms, and values of gender equality and sexual liberation.
Nevertheless, the program welcomes men into an environment that does not judge them for their experiences of viewing pornography. The program is designed to be overtly critical of pornography, not men’s experience or history of viewing pornography.
There is a wealth of data demonstrating that viewing pornography is harmful to men in unique ways at that same time that it is detrimental to efforts to achieve gender equality and women’s human rights. Designed using an “emergent curriculum” model, What’s Wrong with this Picture was developed over several iterations engaging the thoughtful and critical feedback of participants (often in real time) that was used to strengthen and further develop this program.
The last last two sessions, for example, were later additions to the curriculum and were a response to the participants who wanted to feel more empowered to do something to address the problems of viewing pornography that were identified in the program and curriculum.
Pornography and its continuum of harm
Viewing pornography—while nearly universal and no real secret—is something many men feel ambivalent about. Engaging them to critically reflect on their pornography consumption often initially generates defensiveness; many men have experienced being shamed about masturbation and viewing pornography. (Disclaimer: Fight the New Drug does not have a stance on masturbation. Our focus is on porn and its negative impacts only.)
By adopting a nonjudgmental approach, men are encouraged to soften their defenses which in turn allows them to more fully participate. Nearly all of the men who have completed the program have relayed their experiences of being or feeling ashamed for viewing pornography—from the need to keep their viewing a secret, to direct and explicit shaming for their viewing practices.
In order to be honestly and critically self-reflective, men need to know they are in a “brave space” where they will not be judged while also being held to account.
What’s Wrong with this Picture supports men as they examine the impact of viewing pornography by addressing among other topics:
- men’s views of masculinity
- their attitudes about women and femininity
- men’s experience of sex and sexuality
- their practices of flirting, dating, and negotiating sex
- racism and sexualized racist stereotypes
One early activity, for example, invites men to place different depictions within pornography, and experiences within pornography, on a continuum of harm.
They are asked to “rate” the degree to which depictions and experiences are harmful, such as: viewing depictions of anal sex; watching pornography without their partner’s knowledge; viewing pornography with their 17-year-old son; viewing pornography with their 15-year-old daughter, among other examples.
Least Harmful ———————————————————————- Most Harmful
By being in a real-time conversation with other men who disagree about the degree of harm from some of the activities (both what they are viewing in pornography images, and the dynamics of how they view pornography), men are required to reflect on their experience of viewing pornography and re-consider the degree to which their idea about the relative lack of harm of their behavior.
NOTE: this activity does not include a “not harmful” option. It is the premise of the program that all viewing or pornography is harmful. This point is not missed by participants when we engage in this activity.
Reconsidering the “healthiness” about porn
What’s Wrong with this Picture is the only curriculum currently available in the US designed to engage adult men in examining their use of pornography. It is part of a larger, more comprehensive project that continues to grow, with tools, resources and materials designed to help expose and explain the harm caused by viewing pornography.
For example, some tools available as a part of the initiative (not included in the curriculum) include campus resources for encouraging conversations with and among college students, and materials for parents to use in talking with their sons, among other aids.
Not all men who go through this program are going to stop viewing pornography. But the vast majority will likely rethink how they use pornography and pay different kinds of attention to how it affects them.
I wish I had had the opportunity to engage in a process like this with other men when I was struggling with my own pornography viewing.
Rather than being—and feeling—isolated on my college campus, I would have found a community.
About the Author
Rus Ervin Funk, MSW, CSE, is a consultant and activist based in Louisville, Ky. He is a co-founder of the North American MenEngage Network, is secretary of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence, is co-founder and currently Coordinator of the Kentucky Unitarian Universalist Justice Action Network.
To order a copy of the curriculum, go to rusfunk.me/shop. A version of the workbook is being developed to use with adolescent men. For more information, go to rusfunk.me/WWWTP.
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