An Open Letter To My Wife’s Male Porn Performer Fantasies

This post is a follow-up article to “An Open Letter To My Husband’s Porn Performer Fantasies.”

To the men on the screen,

You have no idea who I am. I’m the man from the other side of the screen. I’m the man who cherishes the woman who chooses you. I stay up late and wait for her to join me most nights, but she doesn’t seem to care. She doesn’t want me like I want her. I still remember the night I first found out you were part of our relationship. I came home late from work and there she was, sleeping under the covers with her laptop half open on the nightstand. That was the first time I saw you.

Related: Do Women Get Addicted To Watching Porn?

Then, I found more of you. I borrowed her computer for something, and ended up finding her search history. Big biceps, defined abs, way too well-endowed, etc. etc. Every man’s physique goal, every woman’s desire. I realized why she isn’t aroused by me anymore, why she brushes me off when I want to be with her. I can’t compete with what you have, and what you can do. How could I measure up?

She and I used to be inseparable, until I started traveling for work. I’m sure it wasn’t long before she started spending the night with you while I was away.

I can’t compete with you. She can control when she wants to see you, and you can show up whenever she’s in the mood. You don’t need anything but her desire, and her time, and she’s more than willing to give you both. And none to me. I’ve tried to be like you, in hopes that she’d notice me more. I tried to be more aggressive, and work out more often. I worked to be exactly the kind of lover that she looks for in your videos, all the while I just wanted to be intimate and feel close to her.

When I couldn’t perform exactly like you, she’d get bored and disinterested. And eventually, she stopped altogether. She doesn’t need me to be sexually satisfied.

Related: The Male Perspective: My Girlfriend Watches Porn Behind My Back

Every time I try and talk with her about you, she closes up and pushes me away. But she isn’t really being unfaithful to our marriage, right? That’s what it seems most people think. She never actually touched you or slept with you. She never even met you, or spoke to you, or went on a date with you. You’re just photoshop, acting, and lighting.

But if she isn’t cheating, why is it that I feel the same betrayal every time she’s chosen a computer screen over me? If she never actually laid beside you, why do I feel like she’s chosen to be with someone else? Because she’s sure not with me, physically or emotionally.

I almost wish she had actually cheated, because then at least I would be able to explain the hurt. Nobody would be telling me that she is just a “normal woman” or that she is “naturally expressing her sexuality” and “discovering her kink.” I’m almost to the breaking point. I’m doing everything I can to love her the best I can, but she doesn’t seem to notice or care. I’m not enough. I would give anything to have her desire me the way she desires you. I just want my wife back.

Sincerely,

The man from the other side of the screen

What YOU Can Do