Reader discretion is advised. Many may find the following account to be graphic and/or triggering.


You’re gonna be a star.”

That’s what he told me as he handed me several Xanax and a muscle relaxer.

“You’re gonna need those, trust me.”

Can any of you tell me if you’ve ever shown up at work on an empty stomach and told to take drugs? Something isn’t right here.

My co-star walked in. Tall, bronze and beautiful. He kissed my hand and told me I was the kind of woman who should have his children. He was very sexy and boyish in his charm. We left the room to go our separate ways and do makeup. My hair wasn’t platinum blonde as they wanted… So it took several hours to make me over.

When I returned to the film set, groggy from the pills, the room was filled with people. Sound, lights, cameras, makeup people, yes, even a ‘fluff girl.’ All in all, over 20 people stood behind an imaginary line, all focus was on the couch in the middle of the room.

I can’t do this, I objected. I said that I wanted to back out. But the cheerleaders came in strong: “Yes you can, you look great! You’re gonna be a star! Just forget we’re here!”

I found myself sitting down on the couch, in front of everyone.

And the rest I recall with the memory of a rape victim.

He immediately straddled my shoulders. He slapped my face hard several times, I was so shocked, this nice guy I had just met, he was hitting me! And no one did anything! Quickly, he started gagging me as he ripped my clothes off. The crew around me didn’t stop it as I began to fight him off, literally swinging fists and telling him no.

As he tore off my clothes, assaulting me and calling me profane names, I was raging and crying. When I looked over to make eye contact with the producer and beg him to stop… I was sickened to see his pleasure as he watched my abuse.

Maybe it was five minutes. Maybe more. My mind refuses to remember. But the bruises and the violation of my body continues today with the memory of my filmed rape.

My filmed violation was uploaded to the internet for the enjoyment of the masses on the world’s most popular porn site.

Thanks for making me a “star.”


There are too many people in society who think that porn is just harmless entertainment, and that porn stars truly are the insatiable sex-craving goddesses they are marketed to be. Regardless of all the overwhelming research and countless personal accounts exposing the dark reality of the porn industry, many still buy into the fantasy that the porn industry works hard to build. A lot of people have a similar mindset as this guy who messaged us on Facebook:

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“Porn hurts nobody.” “They do it because they like to do it.” These are popular perceptions that many people in our society have when it comes to pornography. However, perception is not always reality. The fact of the matter is that the porn industry is filled with coercion and forced performance on top of heavy drug use and sexual abuse. And while active porn stars rarely, if ever, speak out due to fear of not getting work or being discriminated against, the majority of those very same performers inevitably end up speaking out on their real experiences once they leave the industry. These personal accounts are never pretty.

And for those who do speak out, many of them are hunted and blackmailed into hiding, like this former performer who wanted us to conceal all traces of her identity for safety purposes.

The truth is, watching porn contributes to an industry that shamelessly profits off of the sexual exploitation and assault of men and women around the world. It is clear that pornography is not good for our world and contributes to sexual violence and sex trafficking, which is why it is in everyone’s interest to speak out against it. In support of the women and men around the world who have actually suffered the abuse shown in pornography, we can stand together fight for real love instead.

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What YOU Can Do

Porn is harmful and research is showing that. SHARE this article and raise awareness on the harms of porn and its connection to sexual assault.

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