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Both Teen Girls and Boys Take and Send Nudes, But for Different Reasons

Significantly more kids aged 9 to 12 perceived it as normal for kids their age to share nudes with each other—about 21% of survey respondents did, in fact.

With the accessibility of technology, coupled with natural curiosities for sex, it’s no wonder that sending nudes has become a basic part of life for the rising generation.

In case you didn’t know, they ask for, send, and receive semi or fully nude pictures of themselves or friends on the regular.

But how many do it?

A diverse group of 2,002 minors aged 9-17 from across the United States participated in a 20-minute online survey from October 26 to November 12, 2020, and the resulting study was published in November 2021. It focuses particularly on youth attitudes and experiences with “sharing nudes,” or self-generated child sexual abuse material (SG-CSAM), which is defined as explicit imagery of a child that appears to have been taken by the child in the image. SG-CSAM can result from both agreed-upon or coercive experiences.

Related: How Many Teens Send and Receive Nudes? More Than Ever, This Study Shows

While the number of kids who reported sharing their own SG-CSAM increased in 2020, fewer kids aged 13 to 17 agreed it’s normal for kids their age to share SG-CSAM. However, significantly more kids aged 9 to 12 perceived it as normal for kids their age to share nudes with each other—a jump from 13 to 21%. And specifically among boys aged 9 to 12, that number is even higher at 26%.

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Another assessment says 27% of 12 – 17 year-olds receive nudes and almost 15% send them, but we know that’s an underestimate, likely. Additionally, 12% of teens have forwarded a nude without the consent of the person involved and 8.4% knew of one of their own sexts being forwarded without their consent. (A different report said 44% of both teen girls and boys say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.)

An increase in perceptions of normalcy for both sharing one’s own nudes and nonconsensually re-sharing someone else’s was most notable among 9 to 12-year-olds and among boys in particular.

These numbers seem like sending nudes isn’t actually that common, that only a minority of teens participate. Yet, many people in the rising generation report that sexting is normal, that “everyone does it.” And if a teen thinks sending nudes is normal, they are more likely to join in doing it.

Related: Sexting Linked to Increased Porn Consumption, Relationship Insecurity, and Cheating

Often, sending nudes is brushed off as harmless, or even considered a fun, normal way to flirt and explore a new relationship. In practice, this isn’t the case. Researchers have noted that “nonconsensual or coerced sexting (just like nonconsensual or coerced sex) is linked to poor psychological health.”

Considering the potential risks of images being forwarded or posted online, it may seem shocking that teens are still up for it. But saying “no” is not always so simple.

As we will see, there are a number of different pressures teenage boys and girls face when it comes to sending nudes.


Why girls send nudes

We’ll give you a couple of pretty common scenarios.

Boy sends a text asking for a pic. Girl is hesitant. The adults around her in her family and at school say it’s not okay. But this is not the first time she’s been asked by a boy at school. Maybe right then she decides to send a pic because she’s flattered. She’s caught the attention of a boy she likes, and hopes that responding to his requests will catch his attention and lead into a relationship.

Or maybe she attempts to get around the request. When refused, the boy gets upset. He continues to ask. Messages from the boy and now the boy’s friends, are all pushing her to just “send a pic already.” The girl is worried about the possible repercussions, but those thoughts are quickly overshadowed by the immediate pressure. She complies.

Related: “Send Nudes”: Sexting is the New Normal for Students Everywhere, Research Finds

According to a report from Northwestern University analyzing stories young women posted online, they do not have the tools to navigate this type of challenge. They hear conflicting advice from adults who say “refrain” and peers who say “send,” with some boys coercing girls through persistent requests, anger, and threats. Girls feel the pressure to comply, even though they face a double standard of being called either a “slut” or a “prude” depending on their response to the request.

A simple “no” does not always end the issue, but upon compliance, girls run the risk of their photos being distributed. Many girls reported that the latter resulted in social isolation and bullying.

They wrote things like, “Everyone was looking at me and laughing,” and, “I’ve lost friends and I get harassed on Facebook.”

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Why boys send nudes

Girls have a more negative attitude toward sending nudes and experience more negative social pressure to sext than boys do. That being said, a better understanding of why teen boys feel like it’s okay to repeatedly ask and pressure their peers into sending pictures is needed.

As with girls, boys likely also receive the message from adults that they should refrain from sending nudes. They also receive pressure from their male peers to send nudes, but obviously in a different way. Megan Maas from Michigan State University wrote:

“Boys feel more pressure to collect sexts and are more likely to share them with friends or post them online. This poses an issue because it sets up a type of marketplace, where the boys are the consumers and the girls are the products to be consumed. And yes, sometimes boys are senders, but hetero girls are often not into dick pics.”

Related: Private: Teen Sextortion: Huge Revenge Porn Sharing Network Targets Underage Dutch Girls

Instead of boys learning about respect and the boundaries of consent, some seem to be taking cues from porn. Girls will eventually give in to their requests and they will be rewarded with bragging rights.

In another article exploring the differences between teen girls and boys sexting, the authors found that some boys accumulated ‘ratings’ by possessing and exchanging images of girls’ chests. Building off of the marketplace metaphor, these images operate as a type of currency.

Have you sent nudes while you were under 18?

As you can see from the surveys above, teens are sending and receiving nudes now more than ever. If you have nudes online from when you were under 18, you’re not alone—there is help to get them removed. Take It Down is a free resource created by the National Center on Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) created to help you remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18. If you’ve sent an explicit picture to someone while you were under 18, and now they’re threatening you or have posted it somewhere, or even if you’re unsure whether the image has been shared but want some help to try to remove it from places it may appear online, this service is for you.

Take It Down is a free service that can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of you when you were under 18 years old. You can remain anonymous while using the service, and you won’t have to send your images or videos to anyone. You can learn how to use Take It Down, a free, anonymous resource, here.

For more victim resources, click here.

Why this matters

In the digital world, a guy’s social status can be elevated by whatever nudes he’s scored. What is a girl to do? Again, Megan Maas wrote, “Some unconsciously decide, ‘If I can’t beat ‘em, I can join ‘em.’ Then they begin the process of self-objectification.”

Sometimes girls think it’s a safer option to crop their face out of the picture of their naked body—if the receiver posts the image online, it’s not identifiable—but this is still objectification, the consumption of a body instead of the respect of a whole person.

Related: Porn, Nudes, and Sex Obsession: Real Confessions from a High School Guy

Let’s be clear: there’s no issue with being attractive or wanting to be liked and thought of as attractive, but sending that nude pic of yourself is still centering female sexual expression around a male’s approval or else perpetuating a mentality of objectification. It suggests that as a person, your worth is your body because that’s what is being asked for.

On the other side, sexting culture confirms to boys that a girl is a sexual object for their pleasure. It opens the marketplace at an early age for boys to buy, sell, or trade instead of learning about respect and boundaries of consent.

Is that ideal for anyone?

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