This guest piece was written by Heidi Olson, RN, MSN, CPN, SANE-P, an expert witness and child victim advocate. 4-minute read.
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Trigger warning: This article contains graphic descriptions of child abuse as well as descriptions of pornographic material. Reader discretion is encouraged.
The Impact of Children Being Exposed to Violent Porn
By Heidi Olson, a SANE Certified Pediatric Nurse in Kansas City
It’s hard for most of us to stomach the thought of a pre-pubescent child watching a violent, pornographic video, complete with a woman being strangled and a man ejaculating on her face. Innately, these two worlds should never collide, and we don’t want to think about it being a reality.
But kids, in unprecedented numbers, are watching extremely violent pornography.
Any child with access to a screen has the potential to see violent, degrading pornography because it is so easy to stumble across. This undoubtedly leaves a child with many thoughts and feelings they may not even be able to articulate—from repulsion to curiosity to fear. Current studies show that more than 50% of 11-year-olds have smartphones.Kamenetz, A. (2019). It’s a smartphone life: More than half of U.S. Children now have one. Retrieved from New Survey Examines Phone, Media Use Among U.S. Teens And Children : NPRCopy
It’s also estimated that the average age a child will be exposed to pornography is between 8-11 years old.British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/researchCopy
What are the ramifications of so many kids seeing pornography at young ages? As a sexual assault nurse examiner, I can tell you the impacts are not positive.
Porn grooms children and teens to accept abuse
If we follow the stories that pornography tells kids about sex in a typical video involving one male and one female, there are several themes they are learning:
- Sex is not intimate or about mutuality. It is about whatever the male wants (no matter how painful or scary it may seem)
- Women might say “no,” but they like what is happening to them
- Violence is sexy and fun
According to studies analyzing the content of popular porn videos, at least 1 in 3 and as many as 9 in 10 porn videos depict sexual violence or aggression.Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C., & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and sexual behavior in best-selling pornography videos: a content analysis update. Violence against women, 16(10), 1065–1085. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801210382866Copy
I constantly see these themes play out with many teenagers that I encounter in the hospital. As I talk with kids who are victims of sexual assault, the way pornography has played a role in their trauma is undeniable.
For many teenage girls who have been assaulted by peers, the narrative they learned from porn is that they don’t have a voice. It didn’t matter if the victim did not consent, verbally said “no,” or asked her assailant to stop; the boys always continued the assault without pause or recognition that they were hurting someone.
Many times, when violence like strangulation is disclosed, girls minimize it as “not a big deal” or “maybe he thought it was sexy.” What’s becoming readily apparent is that girls feel they should “take it” or enjoy sexual violence, making it difficult for them to name their abuse or identify that what happened was violating.
This is cultural grooming, and it’s creating huge vulnerabilities.
For boys, the same message is loud and clear. Do whatever you feel like doing. Girls enjoy the violence. How will they ever be able to have healthy sex lives if that’s the message they are receiving?
The normalization of sexual violence in intimate relationships
There was a young teenage girl in our Emergency Department who had been brutally raped by her boyfriend, who was the same age.
During the assault, she pleaded with him to stop, which he ignored. He called her horrific names and ejaculated on her face. It was a scene straight out of the porn industry. This caused massive amounts of damage to both of them. The female victim had been sexually assaulted and violated, and the male expressed suicidal ideations when it was over.
Because sexual violence is becoming so normalized among kids, they truly do not recognize it for what it is.
We took care of a 12-year-old female who a 16-year-old male had raped. The male had met the 12-year-old girl online and had coerced her into creating child sexual abuse materials for some time before they met in person. When he assaulted her, it followed the porn script of violence and objectification, a recurring theme.
When she arrived at the hospital, she repeatedly told her nurse that she didn’t think she had been sexually assaulted. It started making sense when she revealed she’d been viewing pornography daily for the past seven years. She was given an iPad at age five, and her parents did not monitor what she was viewing.
Quickly, after getting access to a screen, she accidentally stumbled onto porn, as so many kids do.
The 12-year-old admitted that she now can’t stop looking at pornography and has thousands of videos of violence against women seared into her mind. The porn industry groomed her into thinking her assault was normal.
The impacts of porn being viewed for education about sex
These trends are not unique to one hospital, city, or country. The same themes are being repeated globally wherever kids have access to screens
Research also echoes these trends, showing that teenagers who look at pornography are more likely to engage in sexual violencePeter, J., & Valkenburg, P. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. The Journal of Sex Research, 53(4-5), 509-531.Copy Ybarra, M., & Thompson, R. (2017). Predicting the emergence of sexual violence in adolescence. Prevention Science: The Official Journal of the Society for Prevention Research. DOI 10.1007/s11121-017-0810-4Copy and that boy’s frequent viewing of pornography is associated with increased sexual coercion and abuseStanley, N., Barter, C., Wood, M., Aghtaie, N., Larkins, C., Lanau, A., & Overlien, C. (2018). Pornography, sexual coercion and abuse and sexting in young people’s intimate relationships: A European study. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 33(19), 2919–2944.Copy sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape.Ybarra, M., & Thompson, R. (2017). Predicting the emergence of sexual violence in adolescence. Prevention Science: The Official Journal of the Society for Prevention Research. DOI 10.1007/s11121-017-0810-4Copy
It is also noteworthy that studies show that teens who view pornography are more likely to have experienced sexual assault. Boys who regularly use pornography are more likely to perpetrate sexual assault.Alexandraki, K., Stavropoulos, V., Anderson, E., Latifi, M.Q., & Gomez, R. (2018). Adolescent pornography use: A systematic literature review of research trends 2000-2017. Current Psychiatry Reviews, 14(47) doi.org/10.2174/2211556007666180606073617.Copy
Because pornography affects the brain, especially those of children, it would be naive to think there wouldn’t be fallout from the porn industry teaching our kids about sex.
The power of honest, open, and ongoing conversations
While this topic is difficult to digest, the reality is that we, as adults, can protect kids before it gets to this point of sexual violence.
That means talking to kids about what to do when they see pornography, having protective measures on their phones and screens, and frequently having conversations about bodies, consent, relationships, and boundaries.
Unfortunately, most parents think it’s not time to have “that conversation” with their child. Meanwhile, their kids are seeing violent pornography and do not have the tools or skillset to navigate what they are witnessing.
Having open, honest, and ongoing conversations protects and empowers kids from grooming, assaults, and toxic messages about sex from the porn industry.
About the Author
Heidi Olson, RN, MSN, CPN, SANE-P, is a Certified Pediatric Nurse and Certified Pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE). She is also the Founder and President of Paradigm Shift Training and Consulting. The organization equips healthcare workers with skills to identify and treat victims of trafficking and exploitation. She previously managed the SANE Program at a large children’s hospital. In this role, she performed and reviewed over 1,500 pediatric sexual assault exams, many involving trafficking cases. Additionally, she communicated with a large multidisciplinary team and educated hundreds of staff members on relevant topics regarding sexual violence. Heidi also serves as an expert witness in civil and criminal trials related to sexual assault.
In 2019, Heidi implemented an evidence-based screening process in an Emergency Department. This process has resulted in hundreds of vulnerable children being identified as victims of exploitation. Heidi has testified in favor of bills that have been passed into law. Most recently, she testified at a Washington, D.C. briefing about protecting children online. Over the last few years, Heidi has presented internationally about recognizing human trafficking, child-on-child sexual assault, pornography, and exploitation. She has done so over 200 times. Heidi has also been featured in several documentaries, including Vulnerable Innocence, which has won 24 awards.
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