Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
A struggle with porn can keep the consumer locked in an isolated mindset where they can't share their secret with anyone. But once shame is removed and someone struggling can share, there can be hope for healing. This Fighter's experience shows how important it is for us to be shame-free (not guilt-free, there's a difference) and open in this fight for real love.
Hey FTND,
I think you should hear my story. This info is personal, and I know you share stories on the website and social media. Of course, I’d love mine to be shared. It doesn’t need to be, but please don’t use my name if it is. Thanks, guys.
I had unfortunate childhood experiences that made life tough as I grew older. As a young boy, I was sexually assaulted many times. Not only was I forced to do things, this person introduced me to porn before I was 10 years old. I was scared and confused. When most of my friends were focused on their crushes and sports, I was worried about my safety. As I grew older and stronger, the sexual abuse stopped, but the porn did not. I struggled with a porn obsession for years after that.
I did not choose to live like this, but it was forced into my life.
As I grew older and my fight against porn began, I had people in my life to rely on. I don’t know what I would have done without them. The first person I told about my porn problem was my girlfriend. This was terrifying, but I knew the girl I was dating truly loved me. From that day on, since I let my secret go, I have been porn free. It was not easy, but I fought daily to be a man who doesn’t want porn in his life.
Here is one of my main points. Many people look at porn addicts as terrible, dirty people. I am here to say that is not always true. But consider this: so many men and women are not given a choice, but instead, it is pushed in front of their faces because of sick and hurting people in the world.
Ladies and gents, if you are dating someone and find they have a porn obsession, I recommend that you take a step back and know that they need true love and healing. Be patient with them. If you see them striving for greatness, then let them reach that. Of course, if they are content with porn and don’t want to change, then decisions need to be made. But know that many individuals who consume porn are great people with big hearts, yearning for real love.
All I wanted to do was love my girlfriend perfectly and purely, but I couldn’t because of my experiences of abuse at a young age. Little did I know that these difficult experiences would fuel my passion for true love, which I have today, and keep me fighting.
Thanks, FTND, for everything you do. I overcame porn, and so can anyone if they truly want that for themselves.
–V.
Why this matters
The more you tell a story, the less power it can have over you. And the less power it has over you, the more it can become a source of power and hope rather than secrecy and weakness.
For passionate Fighters like V, nothing is more powerful than being open about past struggles, regardless of the situation. His story puts a face on a difficult topic that people don’t easily discuss.
Porn is a topic that can definitely be uncomfortable to address out in the open. Still, by taking a stand and being a voice for positive change, we have the ability to change attitudes and perceptions about it. And by being the generation who strives to love people out of and through their struggles instead of shaming them into isolation, we can be a force of positivity.
Science and research have shown that porn harms the individual, relationships, and society as a whole. Whether you’ve struggled with it or not, it doesn’t matter. Just like this movement is for everyone, this message is as well. By spreading the word on the real harms of porn, we are not only making our own lives better, but we are changing the world for the better.
Need help?
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify, a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope—sign up today.
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