The following post is geared towards those in recovery from a struggle with porn. While Fight the New Drug is not a recovery-focused resource, we encourage anyone in need of help to check out Fortify. Visit Fortify if you’re interested in resources aimed at recovery.

According to a recent study, the topmost common New Year’s resolution made was to lose weight and/or to eat healthier. According to the same study, 72.6% of respondents admitted to the length of their resolution to lasting just one week, while only 44.8% lasted six months. [1]

So is this study suggesting 44.8% of people ate healthy every single day for the first six months of the year? A realistic answer is “probably not.” In reality, they probably started off strong and determined, and as time went they may have faced moments of weakness before getting back on track for success.

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One minor setback does not mean you have failed to reach your goal—it just means you should try again.

Certain goals can be difficult to accomplish when they involve major lifestyle changes. Old habits die hard, and we can quickly slip into the routine we are used to. But just because lifestyle changes and breaking habits can be challenging, it doesn’t mean it is impossible.

Here are five ways to help ensure success and help get you in the groove of changing your routine, and in turn, your life:

1. Be sure your heart is in the right place.

As with any major lifestyle change, you have to ensure your heart is in the right place. Are you committed to this change and, more importantly, do you genuinely want to change for yourself? Without having the authentic desire to change, the process will not come easy. When you want to see major changes you have to jump in with both feet in order to accomplish your goal. If you half-heartedly want change in your life, you’ll get half-hearted results.

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Be sure your heart is in the right place, that you are all-in and committed to the changes you want to see. And if you’re nervous about committing to a lifestyle change, baby steps are a way to work your way towards a wholehearted desire to change.

2. Find a supportive community.

You’ll find similar qualities in various areas of self-improvement: a supportive community.

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Whether it is a group personal training session, WeightWatchers’ virtual community, or addiction support meetings, you can rest easy knowing you have a community that is there to support you through your journey and empathize with the process you’re going through. Finding a community of like-minded individuals with similar experiences and beliefs can make all of the difference when you’re facing a new challenge. Whether it’s an anonymous online community or a group of people you meet with on the weekends, having a supportive community backing you up can make a world of difference.

3. Accountability can help ensure success.

One of the most effective ways to ensure success is, at times, the most challenging: accountability. When we face a new challenge or goal by ourselves, it is easy to talk ourselves out of achieving what it is we want to achieve. Afterall, the only person we are letting down is ourselves. We eat the donut because no one will notice, or skip the gym because no one is counting on us to be there.

Having someone you respect and trust along with you on our journey will ensure success because you are now accountable to that person. But in order for this to work, you have to be as honest and open with them as you would be with yourself.

4. Be kind to yourself.

It is common for us to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. We hold ourselves to high standards and beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. Internally, we talk down to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to a good friend or loved one. It’s important to recognize this self-criticism and change the internal conversation to a positive one.

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New York Times bestselling author and self-proclaimed badass Jen Sincero states in her book You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, “You aren’t a better person for feeling guilty or bad about yourself, just a sadder one… guilt, shame, and self-criticism are some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful.” [2]

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When you resurface from a moment of weakness and the guilt is settling in, take the time to recognize the negative feeling, but then quickly acknowledge that you are only human. Practicing self-kindness and forgiveness will get you further than guilt, shame, and resentment.

5. Setbacks don’t mean failures.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, realize that your setbacks do not mean failures. Ten steps forward and one step back does not equal eleven steps back, and progress doesn’t have to dissolve because of one moment of weakness. As a society, we are quick to mourn our shortcomings and slow to celebrate our accomplishments.

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Recognize the progress you made, reflect on what has worked and what hasn’t, and make adjustments where necessary. Don’t think because you had a setback, no matter how large or small, that you are incapable of change. You are capable, you are strong, and if the battle is worth fighting, keep fighting.

Get Involved

Fight the New Drug is an awareness campaign, dedicated to educating on the harmful effects of pornography. Fortify is a resource for anyone who feels they may need help overcoming a porn struggle. Follow their Facebook and Instagram for more tips for recovery, and sign up to get more help. There is hope!

Citations

[1] http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
[2] http://www.keinthecity.com/home/badass-quotes-to-motivate

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