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How to Bring Up Porn’s Harms in These 5 Everyday Conversations

The more facts you learn about porn's harms, the more comfortable you’ll be with bringing it up. But how can you translate those facts into a conversation?

By October 31, 2023No Comments

Decades of studies from respected institutions have demonstrated significant impacts of porn consumption on individuals, relationships, and society. No Porn November is all about giving visibility to these facts and empowering individuals to choose to be porn-free. Learn more by clicking here.

This grassroots education movement is about changing the conversation surrounding porn by getting people to talk about its harmful effects, and inviting them to consider before consuming. If you’re like a lot of Fighters out there, half the battle might simply be starting the conversation.

The first step is learning the facts yourself about porn’s harms. The more you learn about porn’s harmful effects, the more comfortable you’ll be with bringing it up in casual conversation. But how can you translate those facts into a genuine, natural conversation with someone?

Click here to enter into our step-by-step interactive website about sparking conversations on porn’s harms. We guarantee there’s something in Let’s Talk About Porn: A Conversation Blueprint that will connect with you.

Conversation Blueprint

Talking about porn doesn’t have to be awkward

For starters, let’s talk about a few scenarios you may face on the regular while repping Fighter gear or just in regular scenarios and how you could bring up your passion for the cause in these everyday conversations.

1. A stranger at the grocery store.

Picture this: you’re in the pasta aisle while repping your bold FTND tee—either a “People ≠ Products,” or “Consider Before Consuming” hat or the always-classic “Porn Kills Love”Fighter hat, or bracelets, mulling over your choice of couscous or spaghetti for dinner. Someone approaches you and asks you what your shirt means.

Boom—porn topic: open for discussion.

Related: What the Movement for Real Love Looks Like Around the World​ (Photos)

And if you’re lucky, someone might notice your Fighter tee and say with a smile, “I like your shirt!”—creating an opportunity for you to tell them more about the movement for love and some of porn’s harms. (This actually happens really often).

Store - General

2. Someone you meet at a party.

When getting to know someone new, the topic of hobbies or current events can inevitably come up. This is the perfect opportunity to say, “That reminds me, I read the most interesting article today about how the porn industry and sex trafficking are actually inseparably connected”—or any article on whichever topic has struck a chord with you lately as it relates to this movement.

This will not only make your conversation deeper and more interesting but can make porn’s harms part of the dialogue in a way that’s natural—not forced. Just make sure you’re continually reading what’s on the blog! We update it daily.

Become A Fighter

3. A long-time friend.

Here’s an idea: the next time you and your buddy are catching up, ask them, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how porn has affected my life and the lives of those I’m close to. Is that something you ever think about?” Or, if it’s relevant to the conversation, something like, “Man, do you ever think about how porn is everywhere, but at the same time, no one talks about it?”

Instead of talking at them, you’ll be talking with them—and encouraging them to reflect and open up, too.

4. The person you’ve been going out with.

The “porn talk” is an important one to have if you’re in an intimate relationship. Whether one or both of you have struggled with porn, or you’re evaluating if this is a topic you see eye-to-eye on, it’s essential to be open about it if it’s considered a “deal-breaker” issue to you.

Related: Your Partner Just Told You They Struggle with Porn. Now What?

When bringing up this topic for the first time, establish trust and withhold judgment. A good preface for this could be, “I love that you’re someone I feel like I could talk to about anything. I think that’s an important part of a healthy relationship, and I hope you feel comfortable talking to me, too.”

Proceed to bring up porn in a way that applies to you—like disclosing your own struggle, asking about theirs, or having a general conversation to see where you’re both at.

Store - General

5. Your parental figure.

The nature of this conversation will depend on if you’re seeking help for yourself or someone else, or if you want to talk generally about porn.

While it may seem scary at first to drop the “porn” word with your folks, opening up to someone you trust can be liberating.

Related: How to Discuss Porn When You Talk to Your Kids About Sex

Whichever direction you want this conversation to go, focus on establishing trust, love, and openness. Something like, “Hey, I know we haven’t really talked about this before. But I love you and trust you, so I hope you’ll be open to it and hear me out. Could we talk about porn?” may disarm them and give them an idea of why you want to talk.

The difference a conversation can make

At first, talking about porn with the people in your life may feel awkward or uncomfortable. But as you keep trying and practice using the resources available to you, it will feel more and more natural.

While we can’t guarantee how each person will react when the topic of porn is brought up, we do know that getting comfortable having conversations about porn’s harms is a great place to start.

Talking about this issue and forming strong human connections is how individuals, relationships, and society as a whole can be changed for the better.

Resources to help you start the conversation

Don’t worry—you’re not alone in this. Use the tools available to you, like our Get the Facts articles, the scenarios above, and our Let’s Talk About Porn: A Conversation Blueprint interactive site.

Reach out to a friend who is also a Fighter in this movement for love, and together, think of a few people in your life who you’d like to be more comfortable discussing this topic with. Go through these resources. Role-play similar conversations together, then set a goal to have a specific number of conversations by the end of Stop The Demand.

And voila—you’ll be a confident conversation-starting machine in no time!

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