Quitting porn isn’t just about willpower. In a world where explicit, pornified content is available 24/7 at the push of a button, it takes purpose, strategy, and support to break free from a habit that has neurological, emotional, and relational roots.
If you’ve tried before and relapsed — you’re not alone. If you feel stuck, hopeless, or overwhelmed — that’s understandable. And this year can be different.
Why Quitting Porn Is Hard
Porn isn’t just harmless entertainment. Research shows that consuming pornography activates the brain’s reward system, particularly dopamine pathways associated with motivation, novelty, and reinforcement. Kühn, S., & Gallinat, J. (2014). Brain structure and functional connectivity associated with pornography consumption: The brain on porn. JAMA Psychiatry, 71(7), 827–834. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.93Copy
Each time you click and consume, dopamine reinforces a behavior, strengthening neural pathways that associate porn with relief, pleasure, or escape. Over time, the brain can become conditioned to seek increasingly intense or novel content to achieve the same response — a process consistent with incentive sensitization theory. Berridge, K. C., & Robinson, T. E. (2016). Liking, wanting, and the incentive-sensitization theory of addiction. American Psychologist, 71(8), 670–679. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000059Copy
This isn’t about shame or morality — it’s about neuroplasticity. The brain adapts to repeated behaviors, but it can also change again when those behaviors stop. Research suggests that reducing or eliminating porn consumption is associated with improved self-regulation and reduced compulsivity. Fernandez, D. P., Kuss, D. J., & Griffiths, M. D. (2021). Short-term abstinence from internet pornography: Associations with mood, sexual desire, and executive functioning. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 10(1), 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.2021.00001Copy
Choosing to quit porn can feel daunting; we get it. Some of the benefits you’ll experience, shown by both research and personal accounts, though, can be life-changing.
If you’re on the fence, see how this new year could be the best one yet. Give yourself two weeks without porn, and you’ll be surprised how differently you feel.
Step 1 — Understand What You’re Up Against
Understanding the mechanisms behind your porn use can reduce shame and increase motivation to change.
Research indicates:
- Pornography consumption activates reward circuits similarly to other compulsive behaviors. Kühn, S., & Gallinat, J. (2014). Brain structure and functional connectivity associated with pornography consumption: The brain on porn. JAMA Psychiatry, 71(7), 827–834. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.93Copy
- Desensitization can occur, where everyday experiences — including real-life intimacy — feel less stimulating. Hilton, D. L., & Watts, C. (2011). Pornography addiction: A neuroscience perspective. Surgical Neurology International, 2, 19. https://doi.org/10.4103/2152-7806.76977Copy
- Escalation toward more extreme content is commonly reported due to tolerance effects. Voon, V., et al. (2014). Neural correlates of sexual cue reactivity in individuals with and without compulsive sexual behaviours. PLOS ONE, 9(7), e102419. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0102419Copy Users report consuming porn they used to find disgusting.
- Quitting porn does not erase memory, but it does reduce cue reactivity over time, allowing healthier patterns to form. Brand, M., et al. (2019). The interaction of person-affect-cognition-execution (I-PACE) model of addictive behaviors. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 104, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2019.06.032Copy
This explains why “just stop,” or white knuckling, rarely works — but also why change is possible with the right tools. The brain can rewire and heal over time.
Step 2 — Environment and Routine Changes
Behavioral research consistently shows that environmental cues drive habits more than motivation alone. Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2007). A new look at habits and the habit–goal interface. Psychological Review, 114(4), 843–863. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.114.4.843Copy That means removing triggers or environmental factors that could lead you to porn and replacing them with cues that remind you to do something else. Let’s say your phone is plugged in next to your bed late at night. Try moving your phone and placing a book in its place to help you wind down.
Reducing access matters. Studies on behavioral addiction recovery show that adding friction — such as blockers or restricted access — significantly reduces impulsive engagement. Van Rooij, A. J., et al. (2017). A systematic review of internet addiction treatment. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(12), 1670–1692. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22444Copy Filters are not a quick fix and they can be bypassed so remember adding a filter is just one recovery tool.
If you are looking for a filter, check out the options below.*
- Canopy.us – Use code ‘FTND’ for a 7-day free trial and 20% off a subscription to Canopy
- RouterLimits.com
- NetNanny.com
- CovenantEyes.com
- CleanRouter.com
- MeetCircle.com
- OpenDNS.com
Disclaimer: Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative awareness and education organization. Fight the New Drug does not explicitly endorse the resources mentioned above. This is not an exhaustive list of other available resources.
Routine restructuring also plays a critical role. Late-night device use, stress, boredom, and loneliness are repeatedly identified as major triggers in self-reported recovery narratives.Reid, R. C., et al. (2011). Psychological distress, shame, and compulsive sexual behavior. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 30(4), 394–413. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.4.394Copy Write a list of what usually leads you to porn, identifying your triggers and removing them can make a huge difference.
Step 3 — Build a Support Network
Multiple studies show that social support is one of the strongest predictors of sustained recovery from compulsive behaviors. Kelly, J. F., et al. (2011) How social networks influence recovery from addiction. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 41(3), 279–289. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsat.2011.06.002Copy
Shame, by contrast, increases secrecy and relapse risk. When individuals disclose struggles to trusted people or participate in group-based recovery, outcomes improve.
Personal accounts consistently echo this finding. Many people report that progress only became sustainable after they stopped trying to quit alone and invited accountability into their lives.
If you’re looking for support, our friends at Relay can help. They’ll connect you with a unique group of individuals who truly get what you’re going through. You can participate 100% anonymously and receive the help and support that can make all the difference this year.
Step 4 — Replace Porn With Meaningful Activities
Research on dopamine regulation shows that healthy rewards — such as exercise, creativity, and social connection — help rebalance the brain’s reward system. Volkow, N. D., et al. (2017). Neurobiologic advances from the brain disease model of addiction. New England Journal of Medicine, 374(4), 363–371. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMra1511480Copy
Exercise, in particular, has been shown to reduce cravings and improve executive functioning in addiction recovery contexts. Robertson, C. L., et al. (2016). Exercise as an adjunct treatment for addiction. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 7, 93. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2016.00093Copy
“I didn’t realize how far taking care of yourself can go. Today I went to the gym for the first time in a long time and only did the bare minimum, but it made me feel 10x better. Self-care can really boost your confidence. . . and how we face our triggers.” – Relay Community Member
“Last night I made a choice to buy a book I’ve been wanting to read. Reading instead of emotionally deregulating with porn was a huge win.” – Relay Community Member
Personal recovery stories frequently highlight this shift: porn wasn’t just removed — it was replaced with habits that restored meaning, competence, and connection.
Stories of Real Transformation
Qualitative studies and self-reported narratives reveal consistent themes in long-term recovery:
- Progress often follows repeated failed attempts
- Recovery accelerates when multiple habits are addressed together
- Self-compassion predicts persistence more than self-punishment
“After a decade of trying, I was broken, battered, and bruised. I just didn’t have any fight left in me. I felt incapable of caring anymore. Lived like this for years. Then last week I found a Relay. For the first time in years, I feel something stirring again. ” – Relay Community Member
These findings align with broader addiction recovery research emphasizing identity change over behavior suppression. Best, D., et al. (2016). Recovery capital and addiction recovery. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 63, 9–17. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsat.2015.12.009Copy
Step 5 — Be Kind, Persistent, and Realistic With Yourself
Relapse does not equal failure. Research shows that viewing relapse as learning feedback improves long-term outcomes. Marlatt, G. A., & Donovan, D. M. (2005). Relapse prevention: Maintenance strategies in the treatment of addictive behaviors. Guilford Press.Copy Acknowledging mistakes and slip-ups as part of the journey allows you to move forward.
Self-compassion is associated with lower shame and higher motivation to reengage in recovery behaviors. Warren, R., et al. (2016). Self-compassion and shame in addiction recovery. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 72(7), 673–685. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22285Copy
The Bigger Picture: What You Gain by Quitting
Across studies and personal accounts, quitting porn is associated with:
- Improved focus and executive functioning Fernandez et al., 2021Copy
- Better emotional regulation Brand et al., 2019Copy
- Increased relationship satisfaction Willoughby, B. J., et al. (2016). Associations between pornography use and relationship quality. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45(1), 127–140. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-015-0585-9Copy
Start Today — Not Tomorrow
You don’t need perfection. You need a starting point.
Research, neuroscience, and thousands of lived experiences point to the same conclusion: change is possible, even after years of struggle.
This year can be different — not because you’ll never struggle again, but because you’ll understand what you’re facing, have tools to respond, and know you’re not alone.
You are not broken. You are capable of change. And the fight is worth it.
Start recovering with a virtual support system
Recovering from porn can feel isolating, but it doesn't have to. Relay makes it easy to find a virtual support system so you can make progress alongside peers who get it.
Relay is the #1 group-based program for overcoming pornography use, expertly designed to find you a strong support system so you can stay connected and accountable. Joining any support group is usually a big leap, but with Relay, getting started is a lot less complicated and intimidating. Their matching technology intelligently pairs you with 4-8 other similar individuals based on just a few factors so you can start healing with help from a tight-knit virtual group.
Get connected with a supportive group, find accountability without the shame, and get immediate responses in those moments of need.
Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.
Your Support Matters Now More Than Ever
Most kids today are exposed to porn by the age of 12. By the time they’re teenagers, 75% of boys and 70% of girls have already viewed itRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy —often before they’ve had a single healthy conversation about it.
Even more concerning: over half of boys and nearly 40% of girls believe porn is a realistic depiction of sexMartellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.Copy . And among teens who have seen porn, more than 79% of teens use it to learn how to have sexRobb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.Copy . That means millions of young people are getting sex ed from violent, degrading content, which becomes their baseline understanding of intimacy. Out of the most popular porn, 33%-88% of videos contain physical aggression and nonconsensual violence-related themesFritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0Copy Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.Copy .
From increasing rates of loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, to distorted views of sex, reduced relationship satisfaction, and riskier sexual behavior among teens, porn is impacting individuals, relationships, and society worldwideFight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.Copy .
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