Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
We recently received a story that shows how struggles can turn into strength with time and encouragement. Some stories, like this one, illustrate how love can push through struggles and turn difficult situations into happy endings.
FTND,
I wanted to share my story because it is such incredible proof of how love triumphs over all.
When I was around 15, I got into a relationship with a classmate. About 6 months into our relationship I found out that he was a heavy porn consumer. Somehow this shocked me, even though looking back it really wasn’t that much of a surprise. This cut me so deep, and threw me into a world of depression and self harm. The relationship continued for 3 years until eventually, I broke it off.
Little did I know this would be my first exposure to a long experience with frequent porn viewers. About a year later, I dated another guy who would swear he never touched porn. Days after we broke up, I found out that he also was a heavy porn user.
I was left feeling so broken, like all men were the same. It felt like porn was the overarching common theme in my life.
Meanwhile, a few streets away from me was my future life partner. He was introduced to pornography one night at a friend’s house. And because the group of friends he surrounded himself with was all into pornography, they would normalize it and encourage it as something that “all guys do.”
During his final exams, he fell into a porn obsession, as a way of relieving stress. He was also caught up in a gaming and food addiction. As he entered university, these dark areas of life followed him.
We met in 2014. Due to my past, and my newly found passion for speaking against human trafficking and pornography, I felt so open about the issue and one night we had a huge deep conversation about it. Because of my openness, he felt safe enough to share his struggle with me, for the first time to anyone.
That night, something inside him switched. I said some things that opened up his eyes to the harmful effects of this poison. That month was the last time he ever touched pornography. About 4 months later, we started dating.
We are now working with young people, raising awareness surrounding this issue. The amazing thing is that if neither of us had experienced our struggles, we wouldn’t have been able to unite so strongly and fight for love.
We want to inspire others to value love above empty temporary gratification, and raise a generation of men and women who see the beauty of sex, instead of the degradation of it.
–E.
Why this matters
We have received thousands of messages with situations just like this. Research shows how porn can harm relationships and drive a wedge between partners, but there can be hope for healing if both partners are invested. For a lot of couples, their story doesn’t have as happy of an ending, and that’s okay. Together, we can all be happy for couples that have overcome struggles with porn and champion their futures, and we can also support couples who have decided to take a different path. No two situations are alike, just like no two people are alike.
If porn can bring troubles to a relationship, think of the happiness that can happen once it’s gone forever.
The pull of porn can be overwhelmingly strong to a consumer, but love can be stronger. In the end, porn can’t live a healthy life alongside you, but love can.
