Porn removes the idea of intimacy and sex, and it’s twisting our generation’s perception of what it means to physically connect with someone.

Ran Gavrieli lives in Israel and studies gender at Tel Aviv University. He works with youth and adults all over the country in sex and gender studies and in building positive self image in a world inundated by sexual imagery with negative connotations.

Ran writes and lectures about emotional and physical safe sex; porn and porn-influenced cultural damages; gender and power relations; and sex and intimacy. In this TED talk, Ran sets out to explain why he decided to quit watching porn:

“I stopped watching porn because it brought anger and violence into my sexual fantasies that were not there originally,” he begins. “What porn is showing us 80–90 per cent of the time is sex with no hands involved. No touching, no caressing, no kissing. Porn cameras have no interest in sensual activities. They are only into penetration. This is not how we authentically desire.”

“Before porn, I used to fantasize about a scenario in which I would meet a woman, what I would say to her and what she would say to me. But porn conquered my mind. I lost my ability to imagine. […] I found myself closing my eyes trying to masturbate, trying desperately to think about something human and not making it, because my mind was bombarded with all those images of women being violated.”

The reaction in the comments below the video (which have now been disabled) was a typical mix of gratitude and support and dismissive anger, though with 12 million views and strong endorsements throughout the anti-porn world, it’s an experience that is clearly hitting a nerve. Porn takes our natural sexuality and it twists it into having arousals that weren’t there originally, teaching us to enjoy things we never normally would.

This is just one of the ways many ways that porn promotes unhealthy ideas of what sexuality looks like.

Send this to a friend