The following post is geared toward those in recovery from a struggle with porn. While Fight the New Drug is not a recovery-focused resource, we encourage anyone in need of help to check out Fortify. Visit Fortify and follow their blog for more articles geared specifically toward recovery.
At Fight the New Drug, we talk a lot about the harms of pornography. We talk frequently about how it can affect our brains, ruin our relationships, etc. That information is important for society to understand but, let’s be honest, it can also get kind of depressing. So let’s look at the other side of the equation. While the effects of porn can be rough, struggling with it doesn’t make someone a “bad” person. We get a lot of stories from people who are not only going through this struggle, but who have recovered from it. Regardless of how long they’ve struggled, recovery is more than possible.
We get messages like this sent to us all the time:
“I just feel broken and I don’t know if there is any way to fix it.”
“I’ve been down for so many years and I can’t seem to pick myself up.”
“It always feels like there’s something wrong with me.”
This is a sad statement that most everyone can identify with at different times in their life, but most especially relevant for those who are struggling with addiction to anything—whether it be food, gambling, drugs, or porn. When dealing with pornography, it may seem like there is no going back after the countless hours of putting explicit images into their brain, over and over.
We know pornography affects mental and emotional health. But while porn addiction, compulsion, or obsession does harm the brain, there is good news: it is not permanent.
Think of the porn-obsessed brain just like any other part of the human body—with time, it heals. Sometimes it just needs a little help. Imagine if you had a broken arm or leg. While it is a nasty injury, it can heal completely back to normal—all you’d need is time, patience, and of course a good doctor to give you a cast.
Our understanding of how the brain works and the treatment of mental health is expanding by the day. In the past, things like addiction or depression or anxiety have always been seen as personal weakness. The misinformed idea of, “if you just try harder, you can grit your teeth and get over it.” Yeah, right.
In today’s society, we know that’s not how it works. Does that “white-knuckle” philosophy work with someone who just broke their leg and are told to keep on running? Of course not. We are learning that mental obstacles, like compulsion, are just the same.
To take some pressure off yourself, take comfort in the fact that your brain can heal from the damage done by porn, it just needs a little help to get there. Think of it like giving your body the time for bones to mend and scars to fade. Here are three tips to help this healing take place as smoothly as possible.
1. Grab Some Crutches
You can’t carry all of your weight on a sprained ankle, so you need something to keep you standing.
Think of the old song, we all need somebody to lean on. Find some people that you can rely on and accept their support. Friends, family, or trusted adults will be instrumental in your recovery. Just the simple act of telling someone about your struggle and shining light on your isolating habit will give you instant strength. It may be difficult, but it works. Don’t be scared of what they’ll say, odds are they’ll surprise you with their instant support.
Accountability partners play the exact same role as a sturdy set of crutches—they are there for you when you fall and will always help you get back up. Use these support systems when you’re feeling hurt and you’ll be back up and running in no time.
2. Take Your Medicine
Porn may have spent a long time going to work on your mind, and it’s going to take some work to reverse the process. An addict’s lifestyle is often built around supporting their habit, everything seems to revolve around getting their next fix, even if they don’t consciously realize it. You need to drastically reformulate how you live your life so it supports your recovery, not your addiction. This is called self-care. It is basically having a concrete plan and a daily routine that keeps you on track. Keep to the schedule and you’ll be on the path to full health. Deviate from it and you’ll be back in a mental wheelchair in no time.
Try some of these helpful meds:
– Get good sleep and wake up at a respectable time.
– Read a motivational quote to start your day.
– Try to eat healthier.
– Be active—run, bike, swim, walk, anything to replace negative behaviors with good ones.
– Stay social. The more friendships, the more support.
– Identify and avoid triggers.
– Lower social media usage and other unnecessary screen time. Porn struggles thrive on idle use of electronics.
All these forms of healthy self-medicating promote positive growth in your life. We’ve met people so dedicated to their recovery from porn that they often sit down and schedule every minute of their day until they begin to build truly positive habits.
3. Strengthen Your Immune System
In this digital age, we will never fully be able to get out of pornography’s reach, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to put up the biggest barrier possible. Work with the people closest to you to establish internet protection and lower access on all your devices. Remain accountable to them and stay honest. Admitting you have a problem is a big first step. Know your weaknesses and work on strengthening them. Know where your trouble areas are and avoid/eliminate them all together.
Put yourself in an environment where you have the space to heal and people who want to see you back on your feet. The steps toward recovery aren’t always easy, but they are totally worth it. Sooner or later, you’ll get back to feeling 100%. Guaranteed.
Need help?
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify, a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope—sign up today.
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Get Involved
Fight the New Drug is an awareness campaign, dedicated to educating on the harmful effects of pornography. Our friends at Fortify are a resource for anyone who feels they may need help overcoming a porn struggle. Follow their Facebook and Instagram for more tips for recovery, and sign up for the platform to get more help. There is hope!