Jennifer Lawrence: “…either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”

By October 8, 2014 September 17th, 2018 No Comments

Dear Jennifer Lawrence,

What’s up? We are writing to tell you that we read the statements from your interview that was published today with Vanity Fair magazine. We are glad that you are brave enough to speak out on an issue that we can imagine has been super hurtful to you and has caused a lot of problems in your personal life.

First off, we want you to know that it’s not cool your private photos were hacked and shared for all the world to see. Not cool at all. We wrote a blog article last month titled “Jennifer Lawrence Is Not A Porn Star. Don’t Treat Her Like One,” telling people how you were violated and that they should hashtag #HateCelebGate to show that they weren’t cool with it. We were stoked when that post went on to reach over 1 million people on Facebook. We were glad that so many people were with us in not promoting or participating in the crime that was committed against you and many other people, both adults and teens. You don’t deserve to have your privacy violated and neither does any other human being.

However, when we just read your first interview since your hacked photos were released, you said something we found super concerning:

“I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”

Now, after reading that, we couldn’t help but feel like your perceptions of a “healthy” relationship were missing the mark a bit. However, we also know that there are thousands upon thousands of people out there who feel the exact same way, that either porn or nudes will keep a partner from cheating or leaving. We are sorry for that.

We’re sorry that society has been “pornified” and that we are living in a culture that thinks that hacked and stolen photos of naked people are something to seek out, cheer for, laugh about, and spread around. With a society that thinks a woman is only as good as her body, it’s easy to see why you would feel like your boyfriend would turn to porn even when dating a talented and beautiful woman like yourself.

Think about this question, Jennifer. Should any person ever have to feel that they need to give their partner something because if they don’t then their partner will turn away and get it from someone else? Especially when that something is as important in a relationship as sex? Or, should any person feel like their partner even has to look at porn in the first place? We don’t think that’s cool and neither should you. If you were in a “loving, healthy, great relationship for four years,” should you have ever had to feel like if you didn’t send your boyfriend pictures that he would have no choice but to look at porn?

No person in a committed relationship should have to expect that. That’s not sexy at all. And we’re sorry that you felt that way.

We are sorry that people have judged and tormented you for something that wasn’t your fault, for a crime that was committed against you. Regardless of anyone’s personal feelings about taking nude photos or sending them to a partner, we believe that none of that warrants those pictures being hacked, stolen, and spread around online for the entire world to see. We think any logical person will agree that victim-blaming is never okay or deserved. No one deserves what happened to you, and no one asks for it either.

We like what you said in one part of your interview:

“It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting… And we need to change. That’s why these websites are responsible. Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it. It’s so beyond me. I just can’t imagine being that detached from humanity. I can’t imagine being that thoughtless and careless and so empty inside.”

We feel the exact same way and so should everybody else. But let us ask this question: Is there any difference in what you just said when relating it to porn?

No! It’s the exact same meaning.

Just like the naked photos that were stolen from you and posted online for all to see, in too many cases, porn is a sexual violation made by people who have forced, abused, and threatened others to make it. In many cases, it is a sex crime that fuels the demand for even greater sex crimes like prostitution and sex trafficking. Regardless of who or what the images are of, the promotion of this material is extremely damaging and harmful to people and their relationships.

Still think that it’s normal for your boyfriend to turn to that stuff if he doesn’t feel like his sexual desires are being met?

We wanted to write this letter to you, Jennifer Lawrence, to tell you that we support you and we wish the best for you. That being said, allow us to give you one piece of advice: never accept porn as a normal part of any relationship, or a normal part of anything in general. It is harmful material that addicts the brain, damages relationships, and pushes warped perceptions about sex and intimacy into society. You should never be expected to do anything for fear of a partner turning to porn or ever think its normal for them to do so. This terrible thing happened to you largely because of the porn culture of our society and how the world will do anything to feed its endless appetite for sexual exploitation.

Real people are beautiful and real love is sexy. Anything else is a counterfeit.

All the best,

Fight the New Drug

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